


Taking the Bait

by nochick_fics



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003)
Genre: Canon Divergence, Canon: Fullmetal Alchemist (2003), M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-09
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-08-07 15:59:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 14
Words: 27,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7720870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nochick_fics/pseuds/nochick_fics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If Ed can't have Roy's heart, he'll bribe him for the next best thing: his body.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ***Ed is fifteen in this story.*** Originally posted to LiveJournal on 12/7/09.

It could never be said that Roy Mustang's sexual tastes weren't a bit... extreme. This was, in fact, a proclivity of which he was rather proud, given his track record among women, as well as a small number of carefully selected men. However, those tastes were not, under any circumstance under the Amestris sun, _deviant._ There was a fine, definitive line between the things that he had done--or had done to _him_ \--and the most unexpected situation currently presenting itself in the form of a very determined, very _young_ alchemist standing in front of his desk and demanding the impossible.

Well, improbable, at any rate. Or so he had thought until just about now.

“You want me to fuck you,” Roy said blankly, masking his shock and, he had to admit, curiosity over the teen's unsolicited offer at a time when his day had already been quite the troublesome experience. “Clearly the lack of altitude has affected your senses,” he added with a forced smirk.

Roy wagered that Ed would react as Ed usually reacted when greeted by a snide observation of his height: pouty, pissy, and with limbs akimbo before making a grand and curse-filled exit. Funny, he never thought he would have anticipated the boy's dramatic flailing as much as he did right now. Then again, he had never anticipated that same boy would offer up his virginity in such an unceremonious fashion.

It seemed that after all of this time, Edward Elric was still chock full of surprises.

“Maybe. But it doesn't change what I want.”

Ed blinked at him, his jaw determined and set. There was no swearing. There was no tantrum. The kid was serious.

He continued, “If you don't... then I'll tell everyone that you knew Marcoh's location all along.”

_Dead_ serious.

Roy clenched his teeth in agitation over the threat. He had half a mind to slip on his glove and fry the little bastard a new asshole or two. Who did this little prick think he was talking to?

Nestled away deep below his irritation, however, was a small seed of admiration over Ed's moxie.

He knew that Ed had nothing, really. Nothing of any true substance. Wherever Marcoh was, Roy rest assured that his role in the man's escape would never be told in the event of capture. Such an unyielding trust was the way things were after that final exchange between them, during which one, perhaps even two lives were saved. But if Ed did make this information public, even without a shred of evidence, the _idea_ would still linger. Ideas... they were often more lethal than fact. And the last thing he needed was for the wrong person to get the wrong idea where he was concerned; one could not become Führer if any aspect of his loyalty to the State was cast in doubt. Roy knew _this_ as well.

As did Ed. The little fucker.

“Fullmetal.” Roy paused and tried hurriedly to gather his thoughts. This was insane. No--it was  _beyond_ insane. Not that he had any qualms with fucking a fellow officer; Havoc was a frequent guest in his bed and, as long as they could remain covert, damned if he was about to surrender such an amazing lay. And it wasn't as if he had ever fucked someone to whom he wasn't entirely attracted.

But Ed? Even if he was of age--which he wasn't--Roy just couldn't bring himself to go there. The idea had never once crossed his mind.

… Well, okay. Maybe once. Or twice. Precious few didn't pass through Roy's thoughts in such a way at some point or another. And sure, the kid wasn't half bad looking and he had a great ass--Roy wasn't _blind_ , after all.

Still, it was Ed.

_Ed_ , for fuck's sake!

“Yes, Colonel?”

“Inappropriateness aside, it is rather presumptuous of you to assume that my... predilections... even run in _that_ direction,” Roy said, casually offering a last ditch effort to avoid this impending catastrophe. To the observant eye, Roy was a god among women, this was true. But he did prefer a bit more discretion when it came to his dalliances with men, for obvious reasons. If he could just get Ed to think that he wouldn't even be able to get it up for him, then maybe he stood a chance.

The teen shoved his hands deep into his pockets. He shrugged casually at the statement which, for him, was neither here nor there, and Roy knew he was fucked. Ed wanted what he wanted...

*****

… and what he wanted was Roy.

The fifteen-year-old supposed that he should be ashamed of himself, standing there and threatening the man who had done so much for him. True, Mustang also drove him batshit on more than one occasion with his unlikely demands and assaults on his stature. But the man had also saved him.

And for that, Ed loved him.

No, he didn't know if Roy swung that way or not. Everyone knew he was a slut with the women; it seemed that Hawkeye was the only one impervious to his charms. But Ed didn't care. He had to seize what would likely be the only opportunity he would ever have to be with Roy, no matter the cost. In the teen's frighteningly intelligent and analytical mind, he knew full well that some doe-eyed confession of love would have never worked. Whatever his orientation, Roy Mustang was only in love with his career. So if Ed couldn't have that, he would take the next best thing: Roy's body. And fuck did he ever crave it.

Ed had lost track of just how many times he'd jerked off thinking of nothing else, pounding into the tight curl of his fist as he imagined the older man doing the same thing to his ass, biting his lip to the point of bleeding in order to stifle his cries as he came into his hand--the biggest disadvantage of living with one who never slept.

So, no... this wasn't what he wanted. But with regards to his sanity, it would have to do.

“I'm not assuming anything,” Ed told him truthfully. He tore his eyes away from Roy's seemingly indecipherable gaze--part disbelief, part anger, part... interest?--and regarded the floor, his thumb nervously fidgeting against his pocketwatch. It was much too late to back down, but damned if he could meet that stare much longer.

Deafening silence filled the room; an intrusion would have almost been a welcome diversion. But Ed had timed his approach for a moment when he knew full well Havoc and Hawkeye would be away for an extended time, tending to whatever duties Mustang had assigned to them. He could think of nothing else to say and goddammit all, it didn't seem as if Roy was going to speak anytime soon--

“Then why me, Edward?”

\--except to ask him the one question he had hoped he would not have to answer.

_Because I'm in love with you, you arrogant bastard._

“Because you seem to have a lot of... experience... with... it.”

“It?”

“ _Sex_.”

Ed's prepared reply did not sound nearly as convincing in the company of its intended target and he decided a little subsequent improvisation was in order. “Even if it's not with men, I'm sure you of all people could... figure out what to do.”

A dry chuckle floated across the desk and Ed gritted his teeth at the sound. He felt like such a fucking asshole.

“Your assessment of my abilities is flattering,” Roy said with obvious sarcasm. “That aside, you thought that my apparent willingness to fuck anything with a pulse would extend to you without hesitation?”

Ed winced at the jab; that had hurt.

It wasn't a question of age, although he knew in his heart that it was the primary source of the older man's resistance. But in Ed's eyes, it was what it had always been and would likely always be--the automail. Those sickening chunks of metal that comprised half of his mobility and dexterity. The teen couldn't bear to look at himself sometimes without cringing. But Mustang had already seen and accepted him at his lowest--busted and broken with no limbs of _any_ kind to speak of.

“N-No. I... just...”

Just what? Ed racked his brain for the right words.

“Just what?” Roy asked.

The teen felt he was somehow losing ground and being flustered certainly didn't help. He had to get the conversation back on track. Although it wouldn't have been the end of the world for the exchange to end with the offer still on the table, Ed also knew that giving Roy more time to think about all the reasons why he _shouldn't_ fuck him was not in his own best interest.

“The clock is ticking, Colonel.” Ed lifted his head and met his gaze with renewed resolve. He wanted Roy's cock and by whatever gods there were, he was going to have it. The only thing in the entire world that he wanted more was the Philosopher's Stone... and that was occasionally debatable.

“I need an answer,” he concluded.

Again, that torrent of emotions swirled behind Roy's eyes. Ed steeled himself for the worst--a reprimand and reassignment, he imagined. Nothing as drastic as complete expulsion from the military; Mustang wasn't a fool.

In spite of his bravado, so certain was he that Roy would turn him down, consequences be damned, that he was wholly taken aback by a single word of acceptance, hoped for, but in all honestly, not expected:

“Fine.”

*****

Roy took in Ed's stupefied gawk with a shake of the head. Even after all of that, the kid really _hadn't_ expected him to give in. Hell, he could probably even go so far as to retract his consent with little to no repercussion. Not that he was about to chance it when his career and future were on the line.

“One time,” he added firmly, folding his hands on the desktop. “ _One time._ That's it. Then you'll forget about Marcoh and I'll forget about your egregious insubordination. Agreed?”

A shaky nod was the teen's only response. A bevy of snarky observations regarding the rarity of a speechless Fullmetal passed through Roy's head but in the end, he opted against sharing them.

“Very well.” Roy stood up, signaling an end to the conversation. “We can meet later to discuss the details.” Putting it that way made it sound like little more than a business transaction, which, in turn, made him feel like a... well... a _flaming_ whore. “The when and where and such,” he amended.

Ed nodded again and turned to exit the office. Instinctively, Roy's eyes fell down to the young alchemist's ass and quickly turned away when he realized for the first time that he would soon be buried deep between those two delectable cheeks into the unfathomable tightness of virgin territory.

“Close the door behind you,” he called out suddenly, as if that would somehow negate the anticipatory twitch in his pants. Roy sat down as the door closed shut and tried to think of something-- _anything_ \--to take his mind off having to fuck his fifteen-year-old subordinate. A few rounds with Havoc ought to do it; if Jean bending him over and giving him an honest to goodness reaming didn't cure what ailed him, then nothing would.

*****

One time.

After that, it was over.

Done.

No exceptions. No regrets.

In retrospect, Roy wondered if there was ever a moment when he had actually believed that to be true.


	2. Chapter 2

“Wow. That was… quick.”

Roy cringed into his pillow at Jean Havoc’s frank and disappointingly accurate assessment of what had just taken place between them. He was sore from the ravaging, inside and out, but even more hurt was his ego.

“Shut up,” he mumbled, turning onto his side with a loud grunt. He felt Jean’s cum pouring from inside of him and cringed again, but a shower would have to wait for now; at the moment, walking was not an option, to say the least. “I have a lot on my mind.”

Jean glanced down at Roy through a haze of smoke, his brow raised in curiosity and mild concern. He then tapped ash into the ashtray resting on his thigh and took a long drag. “Work?” he asked, blowing a plume towards the ceiling. 

“… Yeah.”

It wasn’t a lie. Well, not so much. But damned if Roy was about to admit that he had suddenly blown his load because while Jean was jerking him off, he was imagining himself pounding balls deep into Ed’s ass. Hell no. That one, he was taking to the grave. 

The truth of the matter was that Ed’s little proposition was all that he had been able to think about since the teen left his office. To say it was a distraction was an understatement of epic proportions. During meetings and calls and random conversations with co-workers, the thought of having sex with Ed never strayed far. His mind was constantly bombarded with fantasies of the young blond, naked and writhing and crying out as Roy penetrated him for the first time. What would it be like to suck him off? How would he feel inside? It was downright maddening. 

Realizing Jean had spoken and having no clue what was said, Roy frowned at his gaffe. “What’d you say?”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“What, we do pillow talk now?” Roy smiled wryly. He appreciated the gesture, but… no. No way. 

“Just thought I’d offer,” Jean replied, smacking his commanding officer on the ass. He ground out his cigarette and placed the ashtray on the nightstand before rolling out of the bed. “I am capable of more than fucking you, you know.”

Before Roy could respond, he sauntered off into the bathroom. As per the norm, Roy’s eyes fell to Jean’s ass, which was pretty damn amazing in its own right. Upon hearing the shower, he rolled onto his back and gazed up at the ceiling, trying not to think about the dull pain that was setting up shop in his lower body. Or Ed. 

Ed, Ed, Ed. 

Fucking Ed. 

_Fucking_ Ed. 

Roy closed his eyes and sighed tiredly. It was too much; he had to end this, and soon. Because if the mental imagery of having his way with Ed didn’t kill him… the anticipation of doing so would.

*****

Roy regarded him as he attempted to leave with the usual suspects, a small red blur amongst a sea of blue. He briefly considered letting him go for now but quickly decided against it. Better sooner than later to deal with his present dilemma.

“Fullmetal,” he called out. “I need you to speak with you for a moment.”

“… Yeah, okay.”

Ed paused by the door of Roy’s office while the others filed past him. He took off his coat and draped it over his arm, wisely ignoring Breda’s what’d-ya-do-now gawking in the process. Roy could tell that the teen was trying to act nonchalant and, under any other circumstances--ones of a more non-sexual nature--he would have been highly amused. The kid was trying way too hard to appear calm, cool, and collected over a request that was hardly unusual at face value.  Roy couldn’t even begin to count the number of times he and Ed had their little pow-wows in his office; it was nothing at all out of the ordinary.

Without having to be asked to do so, Ed closed the door after everyone was gone. Roy watched as he stood there for a moment, automail thumb tapping ever so slightly against the knob, and he cursed himself as his eyes followed their usual course down to Ed’s ass. 

It really just couldn’t be helped.

“Sit down,” he offered, tearing his eyes away from the sight.

He heard Ed heave a long sigh before returning to the spot he had occupied earlier. And speaking of earlier, that briefing could not have ended soon enough as far as Roy was concerned. It was bad enough that he had to endure Jean’s covert smirking; the man’s smugness over the nature of their association was, at times, a bit trying. Now with the addition of having to deal with Ed on top of that particular nuisance, this simple daily work ritual would surely become unbearable in no time. He could only avert his gaze so much.

“I’m heading out of town in a few days to check into something,” Roy began, rounding his desk and leaning against the front of it. This was the truth; the business with this supposed alchemist killer was going to comprise most of his workload for some time to come. “You’ll be coming with me,” he added quietly, expecting Ed to get the hint.

He didn’t.

“But Al and I have research to do!” The boy was indignant, and most ignorantly so. “Why are you dragging me off to… _ohhh_.”

“Awfully smart, but not all that bright,” Roy murmured with a shake of his head. 

“Oh shut up,” Ed grumbled, a mild blush creeping into his face. He turned away from Roy’s scrutinizing gaze and picked absentmindedly at his sleeve. 

Roy folded his arms and chuckled softly. It was nice to see that in spite of it all, Ed was still very much Ed, blackmail notwithstanding. “Is that acceptable?”

“Yeah.” A crease formed in Ed's brow as he continued working on his sleeve; if left unchecked, Roy gave it an hour before it was picked away to nothing. “I had just assumed that…”

“Assumed what?” Roy asked. “That I would have you over to my place for some wining and dining first?”

Truthfully, he would have actually preferred to fuck Ed in the privacy and comfort of his own bed. But seeing that it was a place where Jean tended to frequent made it entirely too risky to chance. That, and he already felt sleazy enough even doing this without the added shame of a proverbial revolving door into his bedroom.

“No. I just… nothing.” The young alchemist sighed again. “Never mind. It’s fine.”

Roy stared at Ed, trying to figure out his thoughts in spite of the known futility of such an endeavor. In many ways, Edward Elric would always be something of a short, bratty, brilliant enigma.   “How’s that going, anyway? Your research.”

“Same as always,” Ed said with a dejected shrug. “I’m thinking that Al and I will probably take a trip of our own… after this…”

“Do you think you’ll be able to find him?” Roy knew that if anyone could find Marcoh, it was Ed. There was precious little the teen wouldn’t do if it meant getting back his brother’s body.

“I don’t know, but we have to try.”

“Edward, you do know that I will still honor our… arrangement… if you feel as if you should pursue this right away.” Not that Roy wanted to prolong the inevitable, not when it was driving him this side of mad. But with regards to the brothers’ quest for the Stone, he would--as always and without fail--do whatever it took to help them. 

“No, it’s fine,” Ed reassured him with a faint smile of gratitude. “But thanks.”

And with that, the teen stood up. Roy sneaked a quick glance at his crotch--how could he not when the kid wore pants that snug?--and almost gave himself whiplash by turning away before Ed could see what he was doing. Ed grabbed his coat and gave Roy a curt nod before walking out of the office. 

An ass like that _really_ ought to be against the law.

… Although, technically speaking, it was. 

*****

_Ed gazed down at the head bobbing rapidly between his legs, beside himself both in pleasure and fascination while he watched his cock ease between Roy’s parted lips and disappear into a haven of wetness and warmth. He reached out and ran his real fingers through fine black locks of hair, and bucked his hips upward, hissing through firmly clenched teeth as a skilled tongue massaged every inch of him._

_“Ahh… Ahhh fuck,” he panted, wincing at the jolts of pleasure that raced through him each time he grazed the back of the other man’s throat. Ed began thrusting even faster, trembling as he gave himself up to his body’s imminent release._

_“Oh yeah… Ohhh… Ohhhhh I’m gonna come… I’m gonna-!!!”_

*****

 Ed’s eyes flew open and he sat up with a start. 

What the hell? He had been dreaming about… something… he just wasn’t sure what--

Remnants of the dream hit him in a flash.  As did the knowledge that there was something a bit sticky going on between his legs.

“Shit.”

He’d had a wet dream. A _very_ wet dream.

“Brother?”

Right in front of Al.

“Brother, are you alright?”

Well, if this wasn’t awkward…

“Yeah, Al, I’m fine.” Aside from wriggling about in his own cum and all.

“You sounded like you were having a nightmare.”

As far as Ed was concerned, any dream in which Roy Mustang’s lips were wrapped around his cock could never be bad. He turned to his little brother, waving off the idea. “Nah, I’m good, Al. Honest. Sorry if I worried you. Uh… I’ll be right back.”

As mortified as he was, Ed tried to keep an even expression as he crawled out of the bed; the stuff felt like it was damn near everywhere. Grateful for the cover of darkness, he shuffled gingerly into the bathroom under the weight of his brother’s ever present watch and locked the door behind him. Not for fear of being interrupted, but the gesture still gave him peace of mind. Besides, it was a good habit to keep once Al actually had a reason to go into the bathroom again.

He stepped out of his shorts and began cleaning himself up, all the while, his thoughts on Roy Mustang and their impending “assignment.” As for his earlier hesitation, the man hadn’t been that far off the mark; Ed would not have been opposed in the least to a little bit of wining and dining. An unrealistic fantasy, given the circumstances surrounding this whole ordeal, but still. Would have been nice. 

However, Ed knew that the things he wanted from Roy, the things his heart truly desired, would never come to pass, for entirely too many reasons to count. So if indulging in a little romantic ideation soothed some of the sting of the transaction-like feel of it all, then so be it. 

Besides, this way was better… wasn’t it? When it was all said and done, they would both be able to leave the experience behind them and return home as if nothing had happened, no worse for wear.  Well, no. Maybe Roy would be able to do that. He was the one being forced into this, after all. But for Ed, this would not end well. How could it?

Roy’s cock for Ed’s heart. Equivalent Exchange was a bitch.

Grinning bitterly, the teen grabbed a clean pair of shorts from the neatly folded clothing he had set out for the new day and slipped them on. He left the bathroom and crawled back into his bed, yawning loudly as he pulled the blanket up to his shoulders. He closed his eyes, convinced that sleep would be a long time coming considering the thoughts running roughshod in his mind. He was wrong.

This time, thankfully, he did not dream.


	3. Chapter 3

Roy decided that the most appropriate thing to do was to get two rooms at the small, isolated inn. Investigation or no investigation, it would not have been a good idea to draw any more attention to their presence than the mere knowledge of their occupation, rank, and purpose had already managed to do in spades among the locals. Besides, word had a way of getting around when least expected or desired, even in an out-of-the-way little burg such as this one, and the last thing either of them needed-- _especially_ Roy--was talk of more sordid happenings taking place on the military’s dime. 

He hadn’t gotten much in the way of information on the murdering scarred man as he had hoped he would that first day, but even if not for his ulterior motives, Roy would have chosen to hang around longer to see if anything new developed. He  _had_ to. Someone was out there killing alchemists in a bad way; it was not a situation to be taken lightly whatsoever. In spite of the burgeoning tension between them, Ed had greatly impressed Roy with his attentiveness to the details, even going so far as to pipe in and offer his own ideas on the matter. The older man had to admit to himself that he hadn’t expected so much out of his traveling companion; he had never figured Ed to be all that useful when it came to something completely unrelated to his own personal, understandably selfish goals. But then again, the boy was constantly surprising him. 

Case in point.

“Fullmetal…”

Roy shook his head over his choice of name. No, that wasn’t right. Well, it wasn’t right given this _particular_ instance, at least. He stared at the young blond sitting in the chair across the room and amended himself. 

“ _Edward.”_

Ed looked up and blinked at Roy, the sandwich sitting in his lap half-eaten and now ignored--a miraculous event in and of itself. 

“Yeah?”

“I’ll ask you one last time,” Roy said, noting the look that befell him. Nervous, yes, but hardly doubtful. Still, he had to hear it for himself for his own peace of mind. 

“ _Are you sure_ that this is what you want?”

It wasn’t that Roy was hoping for an out; quite the contrary. The days leading up to this excursion had been wrought with a most distracting kind of anticipation, one that even Jean couldn’t vanquish completely, though not for lack of effort. He just wanted to make absolutely certain that _Ed_ was certain. His conscience already bore enough regret to last ten lifetimes, and he didn’t need or want the unenviable task of dealing with more. 

Ed’s eyes narrowed ever so slightly, and Roy waited patiently while his motive for questioning was being analyzed. Typical Ed. Somehow, Roy would have expected nothing less.

“Yeah,” the teen finally answered with a reaffirming nod. “I’m sure.”

Contemplating his next move, Roy placed the remnants of his own sandwich and drink on the nightstand by the bed upon which he currently sat--the ridiculously pricey and half-assed room service had been about as close to wining and dining as they were going to get that night. He swung his legs over the bed and sat up on the edge. He then beckoned to the teen with his head, his even expression belying his body’s fast growing excitement. 

And to think that this was only the beginning…

*****

With jittery hands, the fifteen-year-old set his unfinished sandwich in the floor--that he didn’t finish it was a miracle in and of itself--and stood up, praying his legs wouldn’t betray him in his present state of nervousness. He took a few tentative steps towards Roy and stopped, his heart hammering wildly, his breathing hard and rapid.

“Um… maybe I should shower first,” he offered. Not that he was trying to prolong the inevitable, hell no. He just felt as if he could stand for one, especially if Roy planned on putting his mouth… in places…

“We will,” Roy promised with a coy smile, leaving Ed to ponder his telling choice of pronoun. “But first, _come here_.”

Ed approached the man and waited, unsure of what to do next. Luckily, he didn’t have long to wonder. Roy stood up, directly in front of him, and Ed quickly dropped his head and surveyed the floor, anything to avoid the smoldering eyes that took inventory of him. However, it seemed that Roy was having none of that. A sharp gasp escaped the young alchemist when a smooth hand caressed his cheek and slender fingers trailed along his jaw and down to his chin, grasping it gently yet firmly. Swallowing hard, Ed allowed his head to be lifted and he tried his damnedest to remain calm under Roy’s gaze. 

How long had he dreamt of this moment? How many days, suffering this man’s presence? How many nights, craving his touch?   And now there he was, hovering over him… leaning towards him… and kissing him.

_Roy Mustang was kissing him._

Ed’s eyes widened as soft lips pressed against his, and all coherent thought was cast to the wind. He vaguely registered the other man’s closed eyes and somewhere in the recesses of his shattered mind, he realized that he should probably follow suit, but when a tongue flicked teasingly between his parted lips, any and all calculations about what he should and shouldn’t be doing ceased to exist. The only thing Ed found that he _could_ do was stand there, virtually paralyzed, and let Roy have his way with him… which was what he wanted all along anyway.

Eventually, Roy pulled away and chuckled at the flushed teen. Under ordinary circumstances, Ed would have raged at being made fun of so openly. Then again, however, under ordinary circumstances, Roy’s tongue would not have been taking advantage of his mouth ever so thoroughly to cause such a reaction worth laughing at. 

“… Shut up,” Ed muttered, as if he hadn’t been completely undone by Roy’s kiss. 

“I’m sorry,” Roy replied, sounding about as sincere as the devil. He released Ed’s chin and flattened his palm against the young man’s chest, exploring the firmness beneath the shirt. Ed clenched his teeth as that same hand now traversed downward and paused at the waistband of his pants, fingers flitting along a rock-hard abdomen and, for the moment, completely ignoring the rather obvious bulge below that was Ed’s erection. 

Clenching his teeth lest he make some sort of unforgivably humiliating noise, Ed looked down just in time to see Roy ease his hand over his crotch and cup him firmly, and how he didn’t practically scream in light of the pleasure that surged through him when a strong, steady hand began rubbing him through his pants was beyond his comprehension. He bucked his hips, heightening the friction between his legs, and gripped Roy’s shirt in his fists, steadying himself on traitorous legs. Ed could feel quickening breath above him but whether Roy was restraining his laughter or… something else… was a mystery; he didn’t know and right now, he didn’t care, not when he was being fondled within an inch of sanity by his commanding officer. 

Displaying the sharp dexterity of one who has made a career out of using his fingers, Roy unzipped Ed’s pants singlehandedly. The young man hissed sharply when the cool air of the small room hit his cock, which was now considerably dampened by his increasing excitement. Any pleasure Ed thought he had known up until that point was rendered moot when Roy’s plundering hand closed around him and began stroking, and the teenager bellowed into the older man’s chest, unable to help himself. He began thrusting frantically into the tight curl of Roy’s fist, all too aware of the resonating sound of his own wetness, his mind a blur except for the realization that Roy Mustang was jerking him off and it was absolute bliss. 

“Do you think about me when you do this?” Roy whispered into his ear, punctuating his query with a series of maddening nips along Ed’s lobe. 

“Yes,” Ed moaned. He tightened his hold on Roy as his body catapulted over the edge. “Yes… _oh God yes_ …”

He drove hard against Roy’s palm and came in blinding waves, his cries thankfully muted by Roy’s newly mangled shirt. It was by far the quickest and most intense orgasm he had ever known, and it felt as if it would never end. He fell against Roy, trembling as his cock sputtered into Roy’s hand until everything down there felt as if it was drenched and the sensation finally began to dissipate. When he felt a steadying arm wrap comfortingly around his waist, Ed let out a shuddering sigh and nuzzled his face against Roy’s chest, reveling in his body’s release.

Truth be told, if it would have ended there, if Roy would have said that they would go no further than that, then it would have been enough for Ed, as much as he wanted more. To be standing there in the other man’s arms while in the midst of total and utter rapture was more than he had dared to think was possible, even though Roy had willingly succumbed to his threat in the first place.   

But to think that this was only the beginning…

*****

Roy curled his hand into a fist, savoring the slickness that coated it while recalling how Ed’s cock had felt as it pulsated in his palm. Oh, how he wanted to fuck the teen right now, so much so that he was having a very difficult time thinking of much else. And honestly, who could blame him as he stood there with the teen’s cum dripping from his fingers and his own cock clamoring for release?

But even so, this… holding the boy steady as he clung to him for dear life… well… it wasn’t really all that bad either. It was almost… kind of nice.

He glanced down at the crown of blond hair and smiled. “You okay down there?” he asked, never one to let even the most delicate of situations thwart an opportunity to poke fun at Ed’s height. 

Roy couldn’t quite make out his muffled response save for a few ineloquent obscenities, and he grinned openly at his would-be lover, who could barely stand on his own but was still perfectly capable of telling him off. 

“Why don’t you go start the shower?” he suggested. “I’ll be there in a second.”

Loosening his hold on Ed, Roy stood back and studied the young man’s expression, which was both embarrassed and content. Ed opened his mouth as if to speak, then opted instead to wobble his way into the bathroom, holding up his pants with his automail hand as he tried not to stumble about. As always, Roy’s eyes fell down to Ed’s ass and his cock twitched painfully in rebuke for his neglect. But not to worry, he would be buried to the hilt between those lovely cheeks soon enough. 

Walking over to the door and ignoring his own imperfect gait in the process, Roy double-checked the door--didn’t hurt to be too careful, even after the fact--and then returned to the bed, making certain that the discreet-looking bag full of… accompaniments… would be within his reach when needed. He quickly discarded what was left of his and Ed’s dinners and gave the room one last once-over as the sound of the shower floated out from the bathroom. It was far from ideal, but it would have to do. While Roy had envisioned this scenario repeatedly, now that the time had come, he realized that he didn’t want to simply get it over and done with; he _wanted_ it to be good, for both of them. So yes, even though he had been blackmailed into doing this, he was bound and determined to make it a night neither of them would soon forget.

Might as well, since it was never going to happen again. 


	4. Chapter 4

Ed stood under the steady blast of warm water, his eyes closed, his body slack, and his mind replaying Roy’s actions over and over again.  Even now, after the fact, it almost didn’t seem real, that he was wallowing in a post-orgasmic haze brought on by the skilled hand of the object of his desire, that Roy had really kissed him, touched him, and held him in his arms. 

And was it just his imagination or had Roy actually seemed… into it?

Nah, there was no way.  Well, obviously he had to be into it to some degree or else he wouldn’t have been able to get it up, and judging by what Ed had felt rubbing against him, Roy had _definitely_ gotten it up.  But it was merely the means to an end, wasn’t it?  He was simply satisfying the requirement of their agreement.  No, a man like Roy Mustang would never willfully put himself in this sort of situation.  And Ed knew that he would do well to remember that.

His heart skipped a beat when he heard Roy enter the bathroom, and he suddenly became painfully aware of his nudity.  His automail, to be exact.  While it seemed irrational as hell that he would be apprehensive about revealing every inch of himself to the man who jerked him off not even ten minutes ago, Ed was still fairly nervous all the same.  Even Al had never seen him completely naked before, so this particular milestone, much like the impending loss of his virginity, was kind of a huge deal.

“Edward?”

“… Yeah?”

“I’m coming in, okay?”

He heard the quick rustling of clothing hastily shed.

He heard the shower curtain ease open behind him.

He was also pretty sure he heard his own heartbeat over the roar of spraying water.

Ed closed his eyes and swallowed hard.

“Yeah, okay.”

*****

Roy did not take it to heart when he saw Ed’s body stiffen as he stepped into the shower.  It was pretty safe to assume that the fifteen-year-old did not bathe with older men on a regular basis. 

He used Ed’s bashfulness as an opportunity to take his first good long look at the young man in all of his naked glory.  And oh how glorious it was.  As lovely as that ass had looked in impossibly tight pants, it was even more remarkable bare, and Roy could barely restrain himself from doing something deliciously obscene to it.  That would come soon enough.  But not yet.   

Carefully, so as not to cause either of them to slip and fall, Roy moved around Ed, taking the full brunt of the water against his back as he regarded the teen’s closed eyes and pinched expression.  His gaze lingered there a moment before lowering to Ed’s neck and shoulders and chest, and as he looked-- _really_ looked--at the cruel joining of automail and flesh, Roy felt an unexpected jolt of emotion that he could not quite place, something akin to anger and pity and sadness all rolled into one.  He knew all too well the history behind Ed’s body and Al’s lack thereof, but sometimes his understanding of the true extent of their suffering was lost in the day to day shuffle of work, even if that work entailed helping the brothers reclaim that which they had lost. 

Of course Ed was ashamed of his body.  He had no reason to be but Roy recognized that he was, all the same.  And while Roy did not believe that he could completely cure Ed of that particular way of thinking, maybe he could help to take his mind off of it. 

Just this once.   

He smoothed his hands along Ed’s chest, his fingers tracing over skin and automail as if they were one in the same, and he smiled softly as the young man flinched nervously beneath his touch.  Roy worked his way up and cupped his face before leaning forward.

“Open your eyes, Edward.”

*****

Ed opened his eyes… and found himself staring directly into Roy’s. 

God, how he loved that man.

Then Roy was kissing him deeply and, being the fast learner that he was, Ed reciprocated in full, wrapping his arms around the older man’s neck and pulling him close.  Whatever reservations he had about being seen by Roy melted away until all that was left was urgency and need and want.  He thought nothing of the hand that grabbed his left wrist and guided it downward… but he thought _plenty_ about the cock that his hand was now holding, and he damn near bit Roy’s tongue over the shock of it all. 

Roy broke the kiss and watched him carefully, as if gauging how to proceed.  But Ed could only gape at him, his eyes wide in astonishment, because _holy shit_ _Roy’s cock was in his hand._

“Edward?”

“Huh?”

It was more a gut reaction than an actual acknowledgement.  Roy could have said pretty much anything at that moment and Ed would have had the same response. 

Because _holy shit Roy’s cock was in his hand._

Which, in and of itself, was enough to drive him mad… until Roy closed his hand around Ed’s and _squeezed_.

Ed was honestly uncertain if he was hearing himself moan or Roy moan or who gave a fuck because Roy’s cock was hard and hot and sliding against his palm.  He risked a glance down between them, mesmerized by what he saw.  Unsurprisingly, his own cock found new life as he maneuvered Roy’s--though to be fair, Roy was the one doing most of the work.   

Roy’s lips found his a second time and Ed died inside a little more.

Strange, he never figured Roy to be so big on kissing.

*****

Funny, Roy had never been big on kissing. 

He had zero qualms about fucking others, but as for kissing others, he couldn't quite say the same.  It required a level of intimacy that he seldom felt towards his partners, and it invited complications best left overlooked. 

So why in the world was he kissing Ed _again_?

Not that it mattered in his present state, not when his balls were clenching and his dick was throbbing and he was dangerously close to giving Ed a real reason to be in the shower.  Tightening their collective grip, Roy continued moving Ed’s hand up and down the swollen length of his erection until something inside of him broke, and he halted the kiss one more time, not because he wanted to but because he simply could not contain the words that rushed out of him in a shuddering breath:

_“I’m coming… Oh fuck, I’m coming…”_

With a sharp grunt, Roy thrust into Ed’s fist.  His cock erupted, shooting thick, hot streams onto Ed’s chest and all over their hands.  He lowered his head and groaned into Ed’s hair as his orgasm seized him in its clutches, causing him to tremble and leaving him hard-pressed to think of the last time that _anyone_ made him come like that, let alone from something as elementary as a hand job.

At some point, he was able to let go of Ed, who, in turn, let go of him.  Roy could feel the teen reach behind him to rinse off his hand under the shower head before letting it come to a tentative rest against his back, where it stroked him with awkward affection. 

“You okay up there?” Ed asked mockingly.

Roy laughed tiredly upon hearing his own smart-assed query turned against him.  “I’ll manage,” he murmured.

Leaning back, Ed favored him with a wicked smile, as if he wasn’t trying to discreetly hump Roy’s leg into next week.  His actions bore no trace whatsoever of his previous trepidation, something that pleased Roy more than it probably should have.

He grabbed a small bar of cheap soap, wondered briefly if the damn thing was going to disintegrate in his hands, and set about lathering first Ed and then himself.  After cleaning up--the soap _did_ break apart and Ed used all of the shampoo on his hair, much to Roy’s chagrin--they remained in the shower, behaving more like longtime lovers instead of State Alchemists who were breaking _all sorts_ of rules, talking and laughing and touching until the water ran cold.

And when Roy kissed him this time, he didn’t even think to wonder why.


	5. Chapter 5

Since the room was only meant for one person, there was only one bathrobe to be found.  Roy gave it to Ed without question and bit his lip to avoid making any snide comments about how it practically swallowed the short teen.  He dried off with a towel and wrapped another one around his waist, and then draped a third over Ed’s head.

“Don’t want you dripping all over the bed,” he explained as he set about drying the young man’s long hair.

“I can do that myself,” Ed insisted.

“Yes, I know,” Roy said.  “But…”

He fell silent when he realized that he had no logical explanation whatsoever for why he had chosen to do it himself.

“Just shut up and let me finish.”  There. That was reason enough.

Roy worked quickly and quietly, scrubbing at the damp locks and then using his fingers to untangle them.  Ed’s hair was gorgeous stuff; he knew more than a few women who would kill to have hair that fine.  Roy spun the teen around, both to get at the back of his head and, more importantly, to avoid the disconcerting eyes that watched his every move. 

“Have you ever thought about getting a haircut?” he asked.  Not because he particularly cared, but because it was entirely too quiet in the small room.  Noise of any kind was a welcome diversion.

Ed shook his head.  “No. Why? You don’t like it?”

Honestly, Roy had never really given Ed’s hair much thought.  It was just a part of the overall package that was Ed, much like the automail and the coat and the scathingly foul mouth.  But now that he had it in his hands, threading his fingers through it with all the care in the world, something occurred to him, something equally disturbing and profound: he loved it.

“I do,” he said, wrinkling his brow.  “Not that it should matter what I think,” he immediately added, although the statement felt more like self-assertion than anything else. 

“I keep waiting for the day when you tell me that I have to cut it,” Ed replied with a mild chuckle. 

Roy smiled as a digit traced a length of blond strands.  “I gave up thinking that I could get you to adhere to many of the military’s regulations a long time ago.  Besides, it’s not as if I need to give you another reason to invite me to go fuck myself.”

Laughter filled the bathroom. Roy liked the sound of it. Very much. 

When he was finished, he tossed the towel onto the counter.  Now there was nothing left to prolong the inevitable.

The time had come.

“Ready?”

Ed turned around, and once again, Roy was trapped by an intense golden stare. 

“Yeah.”

He reached down and grabbed Ed’s left hand, twining their fingers, and then he frowned again, at a loss to understand why he so casually initiated such an otherwise alien show of affection. 

Roy had fucked _many_.  So why was he now breaking his own rules for this _one_?

No, it didn’t matter.  It was all just a means to an end.  Ed wanted sex so Roy was going to give him sex.  The rest of it, the kissing and hand-holding and all of that other touchy feely lovey dovey bullshit was just… just… icing on the cake.  That’s all it was, and nothing more.  So what if his thumb was tracing circles on the inside of Ed’s wrist, all slow and lazy and loving-like? 

_It didn’t mean a thing._

*****

Even through the thickness of the bathrobe--about which Roy had said nothing, much to Ed’s surprise--the room was a tad too cool for the teen’s liking, and it was all he could do not to shiver.  Of course the desire to do so also had more than a bit to do with the fact that the moment he had been waiting for was finally about to happen. 

He silently chided himself for being disappointed when Roy released his hand to grab a bag that was conveniently near the bed, but it couldn’t be helped.  While he tried desperately to hold onto the knowledge that this was just an arrangement--and a _forced_ one, at that--all of the older man’s unexpected affections made Ed insanely happy, happier, he secretly imagined, than the actual act about to take place.  Because with all of the kissing and touching and hand-holding, it was far too easy to forget that this wasn’t just about bribery. 

Roy was his.  If only for tonight.  Even if it wasn’t real. 

He didn’t speak as Roy pulled a small container of lubricant from the bag and placed it on the nightstand.  But when the condoms came out, he was unable to suppress a chuckle.

“Yeah, we can’t have you knocking me up,” he said.  “Imagine the scandal.”

Smiling, Roy placed the bag back onto the floor.  “I don’t have anything, but still.  Precautions.”

Ed nodded.  He was hardly under the illusion that Roy was a virgin, especially considering the man’s reputation around the office.  And on the off-chance that he was fucking someone in the military, which Ed had more than once suspected, his money was on Hawkeye.  Havoc, if he really _was_ into men, although Ed did not believe that to be likely.  Then again, these days, who knew?  But he didn’t want to think about that now.  There would be more than enough time to contemplate those things later.  After.

Pushing the thought away as best he could, along with the ache that accompanied it, Ed sat down on the bed next to Roy and waited…

*****

Roy turned to face him.  This was it.  He was about to fuck his fifteen-year-old subordinate.  He should have been horrified, scandalized, outraged.  But it was anticipation that was gnawing away at him, weighing down his insides like lead and making him half-hard again already not even fifteen minutes after he had just gotten off. 

He wanted Ed.  Badly.  That was the stark, unsettling truth of the matter, despite the coercion. 

Roy took Ed’s face into his hands.

“Edward,” he began.  “If at _any_ point you want to stop--”

“I won’t.”

“…Okay.”

Roy kissed him, slowly, deeply, without hesitation or remorse.  While his lips and tongue occupied themselves, his hands began to roam over the bathrobe, smoothing over tensed arms and down to slightly parted legs.  He overcame his urge to dive right in again and instead loosened the bathrobe’s belt.  Without breaking their kiss, Ed eased off the bed just enough for Roy to strip him naked and fling the robe aside.  Roy did the same with the towel and pulled the teen into the bed, resting his body on top of Ed’s, skin on top of metal and more skin, and just that seemingly little thing alone felt _absolutely_ _fucking_ _wonderful_. 

He pulled back and looked at him.  And then he smiled.  When Ed smiled back, with uncharacteristic shyness, something inside of Roy… shifted.  He didn’t know what it was but that was something for another time.  All that mattered now was that he was grabbing the lube and kissing his way down Ed’s body, from his neck to his shoulder to his chest to his stomach to the thing that he wanted most, the thing that made Ed arch and cry out as it slid into the warmth of Roy’s mouth.  Roy took his sweet time, watching Ed watch him and wanting it to last.  But when Ed throbbed against his tongue, he knew that it wouldn’t, and so he stopped and lifted himself up to his knees, rubbing the young man’s thigh with one hand while deftly popping the cap off the lube with the other.

“Spread your legs,” he whispered.

Ed did as he was told, and Roy’s cock twitched hard at the sight of him lying there, wide open and waiting.  Roy moistened his fingers and set the lube aside, and then climbed back up the bed so that he could kiss Ed some more.  If the teen had any reservations about tasting himself in Roy’s mouth, he did not show it; if anything, his kisses were even more eager than before. 

Roy grabbed onto Ed and stroked him deliberately, delighting in the visible tremor that tore through his body.  He moved lower, his hand gliding over his balls until it disappeared further below, his fingers eventually happening upon what they sought.

“Ah!” Ed gasped.

“Try to relax,” Roy said, his lips moving over his jaw and neck.  He thought that he should try to take his own advice since the feeling of tight heat around his finger felt like enough to make him come if given the time. 

After what felt like forever, much to the agony of his own body, Roy was three fingers deep into Ed’s, twisting and curling and stretching as much as the trembling teen could stand while smothering him with reassuring words and kisses, his cock flush with Ed’s hip as he thrust shamelessly against him in a trail of slick.  Finally, he withdrew his fingers, rolled on a condom, and positioned himself between Ed’s legs…

*****

Ed had assumed it would hurt, and fuck did it ever. 

What he hadn’t anticipated was how much he wouldn’t care, that the unbelievable sensation of being penetrated by Roy would override all of the pain.  _Because Roy Mustang was inside of him_.  So while his body was being thoroughly violated, in the best possible way, he wrapped his legs around the older man and welcomed it gladly. 

When Ed felt as ready as he was ever going to be, he gave Roy a small nod.  Roy began moving carefully then, gingerly, taking him in short, controlled movements-- _barely_ controlled, if his quivering arms were any indication.  Ed raised his hips to meet him, wincing yet holding onto him firmly, moaning helplessly as the man’s hot, hard length filled him again and again, sliding in and out of him to the point of madness.  And just when Ed thought it couldn’t get any better than that, Roy angled his hips and thrust and the world pretty much exploded. 

_“Fuck!”_

Roy smiled knowingly.  “Yeah.”

Ed was genuinely stunned.  He had read up about… that. 

But he never knew that it would feel like… _that_. 

He pulled Roy down into a greedy, fumbling kiss, groaning into his mouth each time Roy touched upon that spot.  Ed wished it could have lasted an age, all of that glorious fucking, but between what Roy was doing to him on the inside and the friction of his cock against the older man’s stomach on the outside, it was all too much for Ed to take.  He reached between their bodies and attempted to grab himself, but Roy swatted him away, determined to do the job himself.

“ _Ohhhhhhhhhhh_ ….”

Ed’s eyes were wide and unblinking, almost terrified as he felt his body slipping, catapulting him towards some great and uncontrollable thing.  This was nothing, nothing at all like jerking himself off.  This was… this was…

Rational thought--what little there was to begin with--ceased, replaced by light and bliss and ecstasy and screaming as Ed came like he never had before in his life, his eyes closed, his head thrown back, his nails digging into skin, his ass clenching, and his cock pulsing, shooting cum across his torso and into Roy’s hand in frightening amounts.  When he could no longer scream, he was reduced to whimpering, and when he could no longer cling, he fell back against the mattress, undone. 

He felt Roy still above him, waiting.  Even though the mere act of opening his eyes was a chore, he finally managed to do so…

*****

Roy's body was on fire with the need to come.  Even so, he wanted to memorize the vision of Ed gazing up at him, hair splayed across the pillow and eyes clouded over with afterglow.  It was a beautiful thing.

But yeah.  He _really_ needed to come.  If not for what transpired earlier in the shower, there was no way he would have lasted as long as he already had.

He started up again, gently, even as every inch of his body cried at him to go faster, harder, deeper.  But Roy refused to hurt Ed any more than he already had--if he wasn’t feeling it now, he most certainly would come tomorrow--so he ignored the pleas of his flesh in favor of keeping his eyes trained on Ed, who still somehow, miraculously, managed to keep his legs locked around Roy’s back.

After all of that, it didn’t take long.

Roy allowed himself a single and unapologetically brutal final thrust into wet tightness, and he grunted loudly through clenched teeth as his orgasm ripped through him, causing him to throb and swell and spurt into the condom and shudder mightily over the immensity of it all before collapsing on top of Ed, unable to move.

Arms wrapped around him, one warm, one cool, both lovingly. 

It felt good. 

It felt nice. 

And almost… kind of… _right_. 

That was the moment when Roy realized that he might be in serious trouble. 


	6. Chapter 6

Ed had always assumed that the loss of his virginity would bring with it some sort of eye-opening insight into the ways of adulthood, a new and wondrous outlook about which he had, up until that point, only been able to speculate. But he still felt the same as he did when he woke up that morning, mentally speaking. He was still fifteen. He was still an alchemist. As of right now, the only thing that _had_ changed about him was that his ass was decidedly sore.

“It gets better,” Roy promised, watching, and not without some amusement, as the teen cringed while rolling over onto his side to face him.  “It just takes some getting used to.”

The statement caught Ed by surprise and he could not help but to wonder how Roy knew such a thing.  Or was he just speaking generally?  Ed decided that it was probably best not to think about it too much. 

“ _Are_ you alright?” the older man asked for about the tenth time in as many minutes.

Ed nodded that he was although his body _strongly_ begged to differ.  But at least it was a physical pain that he could manage.  A ravaged bum still paled in comparison to the agony of automail attachment. 

There was the other pain of course, the pain that was not so easy to spot with the naked eye.  Now that he had finally gotten what he asked for, he was overcome with a sense of finality that he could not shake, a sadness in knowing that this was all there would ever be.  And while Ed had been somewhat prepared to face the fact that having sex with Roy would not in any way diminish how he felt, he never anticipated that doing so would somehow _amplify_ his feelings, to the point where the simple act of lying next to him hurt so incredibly much.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered suddenly, squeezing his eyes shut against the scrutinizing intensity of the other man’s stare.  “For threatening to tell about Marcoh, for making you… do this.  I put you in a really shitty position.”

“You did,” Roy agreed.  “But it’s okay.”

Ed opened his eyes and blinked at Roy.  “It is?”

“Well, in case you couldn’t tell, I didn’t exactly hate it,” he said with a smirk. 

A slow smile spread across Ed’s face.  “I did get that impression.”

And it was true.  There was never a moment in which Roy had behaved as a man who could not stomach what he was being forced to do, acting only in the interest of preserving his career.  Every single look, every single touch, every single kiss, all of it, was more like that of a genuine lover than of one being blackmailed into doing so. 

But that was precisely the thing that hurt the most, that it had all felt so unbelievably _real_.

“… I should go back to my room.”

Ed grunted as he shifted in the bed, his lower half screaming at him to stop what he was doing. 

“You’re not going to be able to stand up, let alone walk out of here,” Roy pointed out, placing a hand on the teen’s chest to stop him.  “Be still.  Get some rest.”

“But--”

“That’s an order, Fullmetal.  We still have a job to do and I need you at your best.”

It was not as if Ed wanted to go.  It was the _last_ thing he wanted to do.  But the alternative, staying there beside him and prolonging the charade, would only serve to make an already difficult task downright impossible.

However, the boss had spoken.  Just this once, Ed would listen without complaint.  Besides, he highly doubted that the I-have-to-leave-because-I-love-you defense would hold any water where their job was concerned.  They had a killer to catch, and Ed did not want to compromise that goal in any way. 

He sighed and fell back against his pillow. 

But the hand on his chest remained.

Roy watched him carefully, perhaps making sure that he would not try to flee again.  After a while, and for seemingly no reason, his eyes widened slightly, as if something unsuspected, and perhaps unsettling, occurred to him.

“What is it?” Ed asked, worried that he had somehow done something wrong without saying a word.

“… Nothing.” 

The young man gasped as Roy pulled him close, his head settling against the man’s chest as if it belonged there.  Ed tensed at the sudden and shocking tenderness; there was no discernible reason for it now that the… job… was done.  Yet there it was.

He had no idea what Roy was doing…

*****

Roy had no idea what he was doing.

First he almost outed himself by going on about how ‘it got better’ and now he was trying to prevent Ed from leaving.  If Ed wanted to go back to his room, then why the hell was he trying to stop him? 

Moreover, why did he insist on touching him to do so?

“But--”

“That’s an order, Fullmetal.  We still have a job to do and I need you at your best.”

It was not a lie, technically.  The last thing Roy needed was any sort of hindrance to an ongoing investigation of such importance.  But he also knew that Ed hobbling back to his own room would not have made nearly the difference that he had implied.  Sure, the kid would still be hurting tomorrow, but not to the point of incapacitation. 

Roy was way more pleased than he should have been when Ed sighed and relented.  He realized then that the truth of the matter was far simpler.  And even far more disturbing.

He _wanted_ Ed to stay.

He let his hand remain on the teen’s chest and felt the powerful heartbeat beneath it.  He watched Ed carefully, ensuring that he did not try to leave again, and as he did, gazing into the amazing depths of those golden eyes, it finally occurred to him.  It was the thing that he had not wanted to suspect.  It was the thing that he somehow knew all along.

Edward Elric was in love with him.

Roy’s eyes widened slightly as realization washed over him, making him see clearly for the first time.  This was never about sex.  Well, never _completely_ about sex.  This was about a boy taking whatever he could get from a man who could never give him what he really wanted.  While Roy was busy fucking around with Havoc, Ed was always there, suffering in silence.  He had hurt someone he vowed to protect, without even knowing it.  And he hated himself for doing it. 

“What is it?” Ed asked, his eyes full of worry.

“… Nothing.”

Roy pulled him close, his arms wrapped tightly around him.  It was a pure gut reaction, and one that he might very well regret later, but none of that mattered right now.  The body in his arms was tense, and understandably so.  After all, this sort of thing was not a part of their arrangement.  Regardless, Roy continued to hold him, gently stroking his hair and his left arm until he eventually began to relax. 

The room was quiet, save for the sound of their breathing.  Sometime later, Ed finally spoke up, though it was only one word, and barely more than a whisper at that:

“I…”

Blond hair tickled Roy’s chest as Ed shook his head against him, unable to finish what he wanted to say, perhaps not even _knowing_ what he wanted to say.  Roy did not mind, though, as evidenced by the way he pushed Ed onto his back and kissed him, long and hard and deep.

Certain things were best left unsaid. 

*****

“Edward.”

Ed frowned as he clutched his pillow, desperate to hold onto sleep for a little while longer…

_“Fullmetal.”_

But no such luck.

He forced his eyes open and found Roy, wide awake and fully dressed, staring down at him.  His first instinct was to invite the man to go fuck himself with something jagged and rusty (to be fair, that was pretty much his first instinct no matter who woke him out of a sound sleep) but instead he sat up with a groan and passed on the profanities.  For now.

“How do you feel?” Roy asked.

Ed was still a bit sore down below, but it was nothing that he could not handle.

“I’m okay,” he replied, gritting his teeth as he rose to his feet. 

Roy’s eyes lingered over him, reminding Ed that he was very, very naked.  And just a little bit hard.

“I-I’ll go get dressed,” he said quickly, his face turning all sorts of red.

“Good idea.  Unless you believe that being naked will help with the investigation.”

They smiled at each other.  There was no awkwardness.  This was a good thing.

“Hurry up,” Roy said softly.

Ed nodded and walked gingerly into the bathroom.  He then leaned against the door and closed his eyes.

He stayed that way for quite some time.

When he finally managed to get dressed, he grabbed his boots--there was no point in putting them on to go to his room--and paused by the door.

So this was it.  It was over.  And all that he had left to show for it was an aching backside, a broken heart, and the damnably vivid memory of affection that he never thought possible, the kind that made him think that maybe Roy…

Maybe he…

Ed shook his head.  There was no way.  And if he knew what was best for him, he would stop entertaining such a preposterous notion right now. 

Roy Mustang was never going to love him.

The sooner he accepted that, the better.


	7. Chapter 7

Ed thought that if he stood at the door to Roy’s room for much longer, he would soon know every inch of it in unnecessarily graphic detail.  All of this because after ten minutes, he was still unable to bring himself to knock, not when he had no idea what to say to the man on the other side.

At first, he had thought it was his fault, the way that Roy had fallen silent during the course of their investigation that day.  The teen thought for sure that the older man was having serious doubts about what had happened between them the night before and that he was now regretting it tremendously.   Ed could hardly blame him; Roy stood to lose everything if their indiscretion became public knowledge, and the idea of such a thing coming to pass had filled Ed with a guilt beyond description.   But when he stopped to consider the timing, he realized that the silence occurred just after their second meeting with a kind but timid old man who revealed something he had conveniently neglected to mention during their first round of questioning the previous day, something that finally provided them the breakthrough they desperately needed: the large man he had spotted running out of an alley shortly before the discovery of a dead State Alchemist had brown skin and red eyes.

In other words, the killer was very likely Ishbalan.

And if an Ishbalan really was the one responsible for murdering State Alchemists, then it made an already bad situation much, _much_ worse.

Ed only knew of the war in broad strokes, blessedly ignorant of all the gory details of that terrible time.  Upon hearing today’s revelation, and as he had done numerous times since his assessment, Ed once again thought back to Roy’s uncharacteristic hesitation towards the end of their fight, which had given the young man the opening he needed to deal what would have been a decisive strike if their confrontation had not been halted by the Führer.  His refusal to explain his actions had only further fueled Ed’s desire to know what sort of dreadful thing Roy had been reminded of in that moment.  He could only imagine, and that was probably nothing compared to reality. 

“Your stalking skills leave much to be desired, Fullmetal.”

Ed was jolted out of his musing by the sound of Roy’s voice, which came not from the other side of the door, but directly behind him.  He spun around and found the older man holding drinks and a large paper bag filled with something greasy, and watching him with curious amusement. 

“I thought you were in your room!”

“I was,” Roy said as he approached.  “But I needed to call Hughes.  And while I was out, I decided to go ahead and get dinner.  I would have invited you to come along with me had I known you were plotting to camp out at my door instead of resting.”

The teen blushed and scowled.  “I wasn’t plotting anything… I was just… just…” 

He sighed in exasperation.  Irritated though he was, he was also relieved to see that Roy was being his usual annoying bastard self.  And since things appeared to be back to normal, it was only fitting that he responded appropriately:

“Shut up.”

Roy smirked victoriously.  “Would you get the door, please?”

Ed did as he was asked and stood aside, deliberately avoiding eye contact with Roy as they entered the room.  His stomach growled with embarrassing loudness when he caught a whiff of the food that Roy carried and he resigned himself to keeping the peace long enough to stuff his face. 

They ate on the bed as they had done yesterday.  The room was quiet save for Ed’s ravenous chomping, until Roy finally spoke up sometime later.

“You were worried about me.”

It was not a question, but rather an observation.  Frowning, Ed gnawed on a roll.  He contemplated denying the claim, but aside from the fact that his expression was already giving him away, what was the point in doing so? In less than twenty-four hours, this town, this inn, this very room and everything that had taken place inside of it would be far behind them.  A memory.  For what little it was worth, and if only to him, Ed had no desire to end it all on a lie.

“…Yeah.”

He risked a glance at Roy and found the man staring at him in a way that yet again made his heart both soar and ache, and more and more he was looking forward to taking off with Al to search for Marcoh upon their return.  Not only because finding him would bring the brothers one step closer to the Philosopher’s Stone, but because Ed did not believe that he would be able to keep his composure at HQ under the weight of Roy’s gaze.  Not yet, at any rate.  It was too much, the pain of it far too great.  He had gotten what he asked for, and now it was time to pay the price for receiving it.

Equivalent exchange.  Or something kind of like it. 

Roy shoved his trash into the bag on the floor and wiped his hands.  After tossing the napkin aside, he leaned back against the headboard of the bed.  He then kicked off his shoes and let them fall over the edge, with no thought or care as to where they landed. 

“I made my peace with the war a long time ago.  As much as I was ever going to.”  He paused for a very long time, as if sorting through the myriad of ways in which to embellish.  But in the end, he simply added, “You have far more important things to worry about.”

Ed shrugged and crammed the rest of the roll between his lips, unaware that in less than a month’s time, he would learn the awful truth behind the death of Winry’s parents, as well as a great many other things that were the tragic result of a war that should have never happened in the first place.  “I’ll stop worrying about you when you stop worrying about me,” he muttered through a mouthful of food. 

Their eyes met across the bed, their expressions stubborn and set yet just a tad bit softer than the norm for one of their stalemates.  But after a while, Ed reluctantly looked away.  The last thing he needed was to become further mesmerized by Roy’s face, especially when nothing but hurt was going to come of it. 

“Edward…”

And there it was.  That we-need-to-talk tone that caused his teeth to clench and his eyes to sting.  Ed knew that last night was just a one-time thing, regardless of all the affection that seemed to scream otherwise.  He knew it very well.  And he hated it with all of his heart.  It was already difficult enough _knowing_ what Roy was about to say.  Ed really did not want to have to _hear_ it as well.

“I’m going back to my room,” he said as he hastily swept his trash into the garbage can. 

Ed was halfway out the door when the sound of gentle laughter stopped him in his tracks. 

“What the hell is so funny?” he demanded to know, turning to glare at the other man.

“Like I said before,” Roy said, shaking his head.  “Awfully smart, but not all that bright.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that you should stop making assumptions.  And if that wasn't clear enough...” 

Roy sat up before speaking again.

“It means that you should close the door and come back to bed.”


	8. Chapter 8

From the moment that Roy agreed to Ed’s indecent proposal, a part of him--the part not overcome with anticipation--had continually beseeched his return to common sense, reminding him of all he stood to lose from having sex with his underage subordinate.  While the voice had grown considerably fainter over the past twenty-four hours, it was still there, still nagging at him to open his eyes and reclaim some measure of sanity, even after the deed was done the first time around.  But as he gazed up at a very naked Edward Elric, who was presently straddling his thighs and staring down at him with wide eyes and a gaping mouth, the last vestiges of Roy’s reasoning faded away, leaving only the certainty of his depravity. 

And he was okay with that.

“I-I can do anything I want?” Ed’s voice was low and full of disbelief.  _“Anything?”_

Roy smiled as the teen continued to eyeball him like a ten-course meal.  It was insanely hot yet impossibly cute. 

“Just don’t hurt me,” he replied.

Warm fingers cautiously ghosted over Roy’s stomach.  That alone was enough to make his cock twitch.

“You’re not into pain?” Ed asked.

Actually, Roy liked a little pain, under the right circumstances.  Surprisingly enough, Havoc was quite skilled at pleasuring through pain, and Roy had developed a taste for it as a result.  However, Ed had a long way to go before delving into the more deviant side of sex.  It would be a while before Roy was ready to introduce him to such things.

No, wait.  That wasn’t right.

In the back of his mind, he understood that this manner of thinking was essentially condoning a continued sexual association with the young man, something that he had no intention of doing after tonight… no matter how much he was finally, if begrudgingly, able to admit to himself that he wanted.  And so Roy pushed the thought aside.  He did not want to dwell on the things that might or might not happen tomorrow and beyond.  The only thing of any importance right now was Ed, sitting astride him and touching him all over.

“I don’t mind it every now and then,” he stated, a tad breathlessly on account of the fingers having their way with him.

“Hm.”  Ed paused and met Roy’s eyes.  Beyond the flushed expression, Roy could see him plotting, planning, calculating his next move. 

“Close your eyes,” the teen said suddenly.

“What?” Roy was perplexed.  And very interested.  “Why?”

And there was the scowl.  Roy was wondering if it would make an appearance.

“Because I said so,” Ed insisted.

Fair enough.  Roy closed his eyes and waited, trying to figure out what Ed had in mind that demanded a lack of audience.  They had already seen every inch of each other’s bodies, so why was he suddenly insisting that—

Roy froze as Ed slid down the length of his body, warm and cool and eager against him.  Was he really about to do what Roy thought he was about to do?

*****

Yes.  Yes, he was. 

Now feeling less inhibited without the weight of a curious stare crawling over him, Ed knelt between Roy’s legs and drank in the vision of the older man in all of his naked glory.  He stared at the thing he craved most--in the physical sense, at any rate--lying half-hard amid a tuft of dark hair, and he shuddered in anticipation.  Ed ran his left hand along Roy’s hip, marveling at its smoothness and happier beyond words when he saw the reaction it inspired.  After a quick upward glance to reassure himself that Roy wasn’t watching, Ed tentatively curled his fingers around Roy’s cock, committing to memory every single inch that rested against his palm. 

“Shit,” he whispered in awe, unaware that he had even done so.

The teen began to move, fascinated by the sight of his hand manipulating Roy’s shaft slowly, deliberately.  While he was initially worried that he might not have been doing it right (was there really a _wrong_ way to do it?), his fears were gradually put to rest as Roy grew harder with each stroke, until he was fully erect in the palm of his hand.  Ed peeked at Roy’s face as he jerked him off, concluded that the frown that creased his brow was probably a good thing, and took a deep breath, steeling himself to proceed.

He leaned forward and breathed in the scent of him.  Roy smelled like sex and lust and all sorts of other things that Ed was still entirely too naïve to understand, and it elicited within him a wave of physical longing far stronger and more frightening than he had ever felt before, almost animalistic in its intensity.  After taking a moment to get a hold of himself, Ed channeled that need into the task at hand, and he lowered his head and took Roy into his mouth for the very first time.

All of his fantasies, of which there were quite a few, could not have prepared him for the utterly mind-rupturing sensation of Roy’s cock filling his mouth, the girth of it, the heat of it invading him to the point where it eclipsed everything else except his desire.  Ed took in as much as he could, moaning around him as it slid between his lips and only vaguely aware of fingers digging into the blanket on either side of him.  That, he assumed, was a good thing, too.

Ed began to suck him, gingerly at first, so as not to gag.  When he was able to determine how much he could handle without choking, he settled into a rhythm that seemed to work the best, if the sound of hitched breathing overhead was any indication, and as he took him with his mouth, he used his hands to grope and fondle everything within reach.  Roy thrust his hips, forcing his way in deeper and taking Ed by surprise, but the teen quickly recovered and it was not long before they moved together in smooth unison. 

Unable to withstand the neglect of his own body any longer, Ed shoved his hand between his legs, pushing desperately into his closed fist in tune with the rise and fall of his head, his cock rock hard and slick and already dangerously close to exploding.  Quivering hands came to rest on top of Ed’s head, alternating between smoothing and gripping his hair. 

“Ed…”

Roy’s voice was unsteady, but the warning was crystal clear.  Golden eyes peered up and sure enough, he was being watched.  It was embarrassing.  Mortifying.  And one of the hottest things ever. 

And he had absolutely no intention of stopping now.

It was almost too much to take, the burst of hot, salty cum that hit the back of his throat.  Ed could not have moved away even if he had wanted to, not with the way that Roy seized him about the head as he came.  It tasted… different.  Not great, but not nearly as awful as he had anticipated, and he swallowed everything Roy gave him without hesitation or complaint.  When he was finished, he resumed seeking his own release, his body screaming at him for completion.  He was so far gone that he almost did not hear Roy’s unexpected request:

“Show me.”

Ed sat up on his knees with an impatient whimper, cock firmly in hand and eyes trained on Roy as he stroked himself.  Doing it alone had never felt this good and he came with a resounding cry, spurting over Roy’s stomach and thighs until he could no longer remain upright.  Afterwards, Ed collapsed against him into his own mess, trembling and spent as Roy gathered him into his arms.    
  
He closed his eyes and listened to the sound of Roy's heart beating fast and strong beneath him.

Ed could have died right then and there.  And he would have done so blissfully.  
  
*****

Two hours and _two times_ later, they curled up together in a jumble of strewn about blankets and sheets.  Ed could still feel Roy inside of him, fucking him, from hard and fast to sweet and slow and everything in between.  He was tired.  Sore.  And unbelievably happy…

“You know we need to talk about this.”

… although he had a feeling that was about to change.

Ed blinked into the face of his lover--he could still call him that for now, right?--and sighed heavily.

“You don’t have to say it,” he muttered.  “I know that this won’t happen again.”

Roy reached out and swept a lock of hair away from Ed’s face, his fingers grazing the skin beneath as he did so.  “I would be lying if I said I didn’t want to.  But I can’t, Ed.  I just… I _can’t_.”

“I know.”  Ed shut his eyes and leaned into Roy’s touch.  Even with the admission of mutual attraction, which was everything he could have ever hoped to hear short of those three little words, Ed could still feel sadness attempting to rear its ugly head.  But he managed to keep it at bay… for now.  “I know,” he said again.

They stayed that way for some time, longing and lamenting.  Eventually, Roy raised his head just enough to check the time.

“It’s still early,” he said.  “What do you want to do?”

Ed debated the options, but ultimately, what difference did it make?  It was all going to end the same way regardless. 

He’d already had sex.  A _lot_ of sex.  Now he wanted something else.  Something more. 

“Can we stay here?” he asked, feeling suddenly and unavoidably bashful.  “Just like this?”

He was too focused on looking everywhere except Roy’s face to see the flood of emotions that washed over it.  When he was finally able to meet the other man’s eyes, he found a gentle smile waiting for him.

“Of course.”

*****

In spite of being exhausted, Ed did not sleep.  He wanted to stay awake as long as his body would allow, savoring every passing second of the waning night and snug within the embrace of the man who slept beside him. 

He decided that he wanted to say it.  Even though it seemed pointless to do so, Ed knew that he would have deeply regretted overlooking the opportunity, which was as close as he would ever come to being able to tell Roy directly to his face.  And so after a while, he did.  His voice barely registered over a whisper, but that didn’t matter.  As long as he heard himself say it, then it counted.  It was worth something.

It was _real_.

With that done, Ed closed his eyes, feeling melancholy yet strangely content.

Ten minutes later, he finally fell asleep.

*****

Roy waited until he was certain that the teen was dozing before opening his eyes.

He had known since yesterday how Ed felt about him. Consciously, at least. 

So why did it trouble him so much to actually hear him _say_ it?


	9. Chapter 9

Clarity came with the dawn, like sunlight filtering in through the curtains.  Only much, _much_ harsher. 

Roy slowly opened his eyes, a full ten minutes before the alarm would have demanded that he do so.  He felt… strange.  Off.  Like something was not quite right.  And when his eyes focused on the young blond sleeping beside him, he realized the reason why. 

He had fucked Ed.  Numerous times.  That was bad enough.

But more than that, _worse_ than that, was the fact that somewhere along the way, he had fallen for him as well. 

And there was nothing he could do about it. 

Roy was at a total loss to explain it.  Love--if that was what this alien feeling actually was--was not an emotion that came easily to him.  Sure, he loved his career and, more importantly, _himself_ , but he had always, and rather easily, kept that particular feeling at bay in his dalliances with others.  He screwed many and loved none.  Even Havoc, who was by all rights a great guy and would make someone a terrific partner one day, had not managed to sway him.  So what was it about Ed that allowed him to break through Roy’s defenses and achieve what others had tried and failed to do?  Yes, Roy cared about him, always had.  But this? 

_Why?_

Before Roy was even fully aware that it was happening, his hand was halfway to Ed’s hair, meaning to sweep it out of his face.  He stopped, reluctantly, and lowered his arm to his side because he did not want to disturb what was left of the teen’s slumber.  Also, and more to the point, it was now time to rein in all gestures of adoration, to nip them in the bud completely.  It would serve no purpose, and would only make the cessation of their... situation… all the more painful.  For both of them.

Which brought to Roy’s mind his other concern: after the past couple of days, how in the world was he supposed to go back to treating Ed as if he were merely a bratty subordinate?  How would he be able to look Ed in the eyes and treat him the same way that he had before?  At least he had a fighting chance when he was under the grave misconception that he could casually fulfill his end of their arrangement and be done with it.  But now…

The answer was tragically simple: he would do it because he had no choice.  Regardless of how he felt, he had a job to do, a goal to achieve, a country to one day run, and he could not--he _would_ not--risk losing everything he had worked so hard to accomplish.  Not even for Ed. 

Roy let out a long and shuddering sigh of defeat.  He had already sacrificed so much to get to where he was.  He would just have to sacrifice this as well.  It was… what it was.

He spent a few more minutes memorizing every inch of Ed’s sleeping face, imprinting it in his mind for future remembrance.  When he could no longer prolong the inevitable, he pushed his affection as far down as it would go, to the place where all of his other crippling emotions resided.

It was time to get up.

It was time to move on.

*****

Ed would have been amazed by the feeling of such vast distance between two people who were sitting less than three feet away from each other.  Would have been, except that it was presently killing him.

He stared out of the window of the train, golden eyes taking in as much passing scenery as they could.  Not that he gave all that much of a damn about what he was seeing, but it did beat the hell out of having to pretend not to stare at the man sitting directly across from him.  It was bad enough that their legs kept bumping into each other, leaving Ed with the maddening choice to either apologize profusely and shift his feet or to leave it go and see how long he could get away with just that bare hint of contact.  After the fifth time, he gave up and folded his legs beneath him.  He felt decidedly juvenile sitting in such a childish manner, but it was better than the turmoil.

Honestly, whoever designed the seating in trains was a fucking asshole.

Roy had said very little to him that morning as they dressed and packed.  Scarcer still was actual eye contact.  Ed knew that this was how it had to be, from the very beginning he had expected no less.  Even so, it hurt.  It hurt very much.  But since he had gotten far more than he ever bargained for, he would shoulder his grief as much as possible. 

One of the things that bothered Ed the most in all of this, even more than being reduced to a mere underling once again, was the thought of Roy resuming whatever personal life he had before their trip, that the man would just pick up where he left off with some person--or _people_ \--as if the past two days had never happened.  Ed did not want to be just another notch on Roy Mustang’s belt, one of the presumably many.  It was pure selfishness on his part.  He knew that.  Even if Roy was not the whore that his reputation made him out to be, it was downright foolish to entertain the notion that he would have fallen madly in love with Ed and tossed everything aside to be with him. 

The teen clenched his teeth.  He knew that dwelling on it was futile.  It happened and now it was over and life would go on, for better or worse.  It was… what it was.

“You should try to get some rest while you have the chance,” Roy said suddenly, startling him.

Ed looked at the other man, who was watching him with a careful expression.  That alone was enough to send a fresh bolt of pain through his heart.

“I’m fine,” he replied quietly. 

Roy stared at him a little while longer before finally nodding his acceptance.  He then turned and looked out of the window as well, in his own feigned interest in the great outdoors.  Ed’s eyes trailed down to Roy’s neck, lingering on the pale, smooth skin he had kissed and licked and sucked less than twenty-four hours ago. 

It was too much. 

He hastily excused himself to meander along the cars, ignoring both the curious gazes of the other passengers and the stinging in his eyes, and wondering just how long it would take for his agony to subside.

Assuming, of course, that it eventually would. 

*****

It was not often that Roy made it to the office before the others.  Under ordinary circumstances, he would have used the opportunity to enjoy the silence (and fresh air, damn Havoc) but today, silence was the last thing he wanted.  He had suffered entirely too much of it already, and he felt like it was gradually driving him insane.

Yet again, and as much as he tried not to, Roy thought back to his parting with Ed yesterday, which had been surprisingly uneventful.  Then again, there was not a lot that either of them could have said or done in full view of the public, even if they had wanted to.  After a brutally awkward exchange of glances and goodbyes, they had remained in place a little while longer, not speaking, just holding onto the last bit of whatever magic had united them the past two days until Roy finally made the decision to walk away.  Afterwards, he had gone home to an empty house and drank himself into enough of a stupor to sleep the whole night through.

He sat down at his desk and started sorting through pages of evidence that he had accumulated on the State Alchemist killer, evidence that he would share with Maes later on that day.  The Ishbalan thing was very likely the break that they were looking for in identifying the otherwise unknown assailant.  His motive, while not necessarily a foregone conclusion, was a little easier to guess, all things considered.  Now if they could just sort out the pattern of attacks, they could determine where the man would strike next, intervene, and hopefully save some lives.

The phone rang. Roy shook his head.  It figured that he would be interrupted when he was actually thinking about something _other_ than Ed. 

He picked up the receiver.  “Mustang,” he answered. After a few seconds without a response, Roy started to repeat himself--

“It’s me.”

Roy froze, horrified.  He had almost called Ed by his given name. 

“Fullmetal,” he said instead. 

“I was going to leave a message for you but they told me you were already in,” the teen explained.  “I hope that’s okay.”

“That’s fine.  What can I do for you?” 

It occurred to Roy that anyone privy to the conversation might have found his strained politeness extremely peculiar compared to the usual slew of insults standard in most of their previous phone chats.  But he did not have it in him to start questioning the vertical shortcomings of the person he just had sex with. 

“Nothing.”  Ed went quiet for a moment before continuing.  “I just wanted to let you know that I… I’m leaving.  _We’re_ leaving.  Al and I.”

Roy jolted in his seat.  The revelation hit him like ice cold water.  Obviously he had known that the boys were going to try and hunt down Marcoh in their tireless pursuit of the Philosopher’s Stone.  He just hadn’t expected them to leave _so soon_ , before he had a chance to…

To do what, exactly?  To see Ed one more time before he left?  To say goodbye to him properly?

No.  This… this was better. 

“I see,” Roy said.  “Well… good luck, Fullmetal.”

“Thanks...  _Colonel_.”

The line went dead, but not before Roy caught the faintest hitch in Ed’s breathing. 

He hung up the phone and closed his eyes, overcome with the stark reality of two very simple truths.

He really _was_ in love with Ed.

And now Ed was gone.


	10. Chapter 10

To the rational and sober mind, it could be concluded that one had imbibed enough when things began to go numb, both physically and mentally.

Feeling neither rational nor sober, Roy upended the bottle of whiskey and took a deep drink.

For the past two weeks, sixteen days to be exact, such was the evening ritual for the Flame Alchemist.  After a long day of working to bring a killer to justice (who had a name now, or something like it: Scar), coming home and drinking his cares away was the only way that he had been able to fill the seemingly endless empty hours until he fell into bed, passed out, and did it all over again the following day.  There was no word from Ed, no calls, no letters, nothing.  So much nothing.  And while Roy was fully aware of the teen’s whereabouts on account of the expense reports he received, there was ultimately precious little that he could do about the growing distance between them.  It was not an uncommon occurrence for Ed to stay gone for weeks, even months at a time when he was off on his excursions; sending for him now or dropping everything to go and find him was something that he simply could not do, no matter how much he wanted to.  Besides, it was a wholly selfish desire.  Aside from his own work, finding Marcoh and, by extension, the Philosopher’s Stone was rightfully Ed’s top priority and Roy had no desire to impede his progress.

But fuck did he ever miss him.

He leaned back on the couch and ran a cool palm over his warm face.  His eyes closed and his mind once again called forth the memories that had haunted him since their parting, images of Ed, smiling, laughing, cursing and eating, Ed lying naked beneath him, his face contorted in ecstasy, Ed sleeping beside him, scowling even in his slumber, and a confession whispered in the dark, every single moment of their time together in painfully stunning detail.  It still hurt to think about it, proving that he was not nearly drunk enough yet.  But a couple of generous swigs of alcohol later, he concluded that he was getting there.

There was a knock at the door, interrupting what was becoming a rather respectable buzz.  Knowing full well who it was, Roy thought about ignoring it.  He had done a bang-up job at ignoring certain things, certain _people_ , since his return.  However, when the knocking resumed, he realized that would be impossible.  Truth be told, he was surprised that he had managed to avoid what was coming as long as he had. 

With bottle firmly in hand, Roy rose from his seat and made his way to the door.  He had just enough time to briefly contemplate that his suspicion might have been wrong before opening it and realizing that he should have known better.

“Hello, Havoc.”

Jean Havoc gazed down at Roy through a cloud of smoke with an expression that was partly amused, partly concerned, and, to be honest, completely gorgeous.  Roy had chosen well when he chose the tall, well-built blond as a bedmate. 

“Hey there, Chief,” Jean replied, articulating clearly in spite of the cigarette between his lips.

Roy moved aside so that the lieutenant could enter.  “Do you want a drink?” he offered.

Jean raised a brow at the near empty bottle that Roy was holding. 

“I don’t know.  Is there any left?”

Roy smiled weakly and offered him the rest.  “Smartass.”

Jean took the bottle with a grin and made himself comfortable on the couch.  Roy debated grabbing another one--he was fully stocked, after all--but decided against it.  He thought it best that he was at least somewhat coherent for what he was about to do.

“So,” he began, sitting down on the opposite end of the couch.  “I’m guessing that this is more than a social call?”

After knocking back the rest of the whiskey and turning the bottle into a makeshift ashtray, Jean responded.  “Well… it is and it isn’t,” he said as he lit another cigarette.  “I _have_ been feeling a bit horny the past couple of weeks but no, I didn’t come over for the sole purpose of fucking you.”

Roy chuckled.  Jean’s surprising candor outside of the office never ceased to amaze him. 

“I should have called you sooner,” he admitted.  “It’s just that with the damn case and…”

_falling in love with Ed_

“… other things… I’ve had a lot on my plate.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Jean asked.  “Or are we still not doing small talk?”

“That was _pillow_ talk,” Roy corrected.  He turned to face Jean and instantly felt a pang of guilt.  While they had always kept things casual, he often suspected that Jean was way more committed to their arrangement than he let on. 

Which made Roy feel like shit for what was going to happen next.

“And actually… yeah.  We _do_ need to talk.”

*****

Ed should have been thrilled.  He and Al had located Marcoh and were finally making serious headway with learning everything that he knew with regards to the Philosopher’s Stone.  The old man seemed kind and knowledgeable and trustworthy, if a little skittish at times (he had all but freaked out for some reason when Ed revealed that he and Al were from Risembool).  But overall, he was the closest that the teens had come in all their years of searching for the way to reclaim their bodies.  It was a very good thing.

Unfortunately, however, Ed was entirely too sad to be happy about it.

He ducked under the showerhead and sighed.  After a cursory once-over with a bar of soap, which was all he had the energy to manage, he merely stood there, losing himself as much as possible to the downpour and not quite ready to face Al’s annoying barrage of are-you-okays.  Not that he faulted his little brother for being concerned, not after those first few nights when Ed had emerged from the bathroom splotchy-faced and red-eyed and had allowed the boy to believe that he was sick to avoid telling him the true root of his condition. 

The young man cringed as his mind began to wander, reminding him once again of a different time in a different shower, of intense eyes and alabaster skin and kissing and touching and stroking… stroking…

Ed leaned against the wall of the shower stall with his right hand as he reenacted with the left.  He hated himself for doing it, felt that he was somehow sullying the memory of that night, but it was the only thing that dulled the pain for a little while. 

He bit his lip to keep from crying out as he came.  Al’s hearing was frighteningly remarkable and some things ought not to be explained.  When Ed was finished, he rinsed his hand under the water…

_like he did that time with Roy and then asked him if he was okay and then they kissed and life was perfect_

… and turned off the shower.  He stepped onto the cold bathroom tiles and dried and dressed slowly, with no real awareness of his actions.  Afterwards, he crawled into bed and silently suffered Al’s excitement over their progress, nodding in all the right places but otherwise content to let him do all of the talking.

But Al, as it turned out, was having none of it.

“Brother?  I really wish that you would tell me what’s wrong with you.”

Ed blinked at the large suit of armor that held his brother’s soul.  “What?”

Al shifted on his own bed, which was not an easy feat given his enormous bulk.  “You’ve been acting strange since you got back from your trip with Colonel Mustang.  Did something happen?”

What would Al think, Ed wondered, if he knew the truth?  It was so unbelievably tempting, to unload the burden on his heart, and who was the only person in the world that would (possibly) be understanding and forgiving, if not Al?

But… no.  Ed refused to bring him into a mess of his own creation.  He had bribed Roy.  Roy had delivered.  End of story.  Anything else was his own fault, his own punishment.  His and his alone.

“I’m fine, Al,” he answered as calmly as he could.  “I've just had a lot on my mind with this Marcoh thing.”

Glowing eyes regarded him with a depth that almost seemed human.  Eventually, Al appeared content to let it go, which was just as well because Ed was not sure if he could have refrained from spilling everything if the subject was forced. 

After making small talk a little while longer--Ed smartly diverted the conversation to kittens and Al forgot about everything else but--they called it a night.  Ed burrowed into the coolness of his sheets and closed his eyes, and there was Roy, rising up to greet him behind shut lids, just as he had done for the past two weeks.  Sixteen days, to be exact. 

It was going to be a long night.

*****

_Very_ long.

Roy frowned at the ceiling, as if it was the culprit behind his inability to sleep.  He cursed at it as well, for good measure.  Two hours had passed since his head first hit the pillows, two hours of lying there, thinking about things that had absolutely nothing to do with sleep. 

Unable to bear another minute of it, he crawled out of bed.  He dressed hastily, shoved one of his gloves into his right pocket, and stepped outside into the crisp night air.  He had no idea where he was going, just that he needed to walk, to do something, _anything_.

A dog was barking somewhere close by.  Roy’s lip curved upward as he thought about the office’s unofficial mascot, Black Hayate, and Hawkeye’s special brand of training, which was not only effective on canines but humans as well.

Maybe he should have just let Jean fuck him one last time.  Maybe doing so would have been enough of a distraction to make it through at least one night without his mind being permeated by Edward Elric.  But Roy knew in his heart that he could have never gone through with it, not anymore.  This unexpected and most inconvenient attack of feelings and such had ruined his ability to even _think_ about getting it up for anyone else. 

Jean had taken the news with surprising calmness.  Even though it was obvious that he was dying to know what had brought about Roy’s change of heart, he just shrugged and lit another cigarette and that was that.  Roy still felt like a jerk about it--another annoying consequence of this sudden development of conscience--but it was, ultimately, for the best. 

Having come to the end of the road, Roy stopped and considered his options and remembered the feel of Ed’s hair on his fingers when he dried it.

Damn it all.  He could walk forever, but Ed was still going to be there, wasn’t he?

“Flame Alchemist Roy Mustang.”

Roy spun around, his hand instinctively sliding into his pocketed glove.

The man was big.

Tall.

With brown skin.

And red eyes.

_“Shit.”_

Well then.  Roy had been looking for something to take his mind off Ed.

Now he found it.

"Judging from your reaction, I assume you know who I am..."    
  
The stranger's eyes narrowed.   
  
"... and that I'm here to kill you."


	11. Chapter 11

_Ed…_

Darkness.  So much darkness.  It was everywhere.  It filled the world. 

Roy felt submerged in the nothing.  _Consumed_ by it.  But every time he struggled to find his way out of it, there was only blurred vision and the sound of chaos and the overwhelming sensation of _pain_.  Unfathomable pain, a kind he had never believed possible.  Far better to sink back down to the depths where the agony could not reach him. 

Something had happened to him.  Something… bad.  Roy had no recollection of anything specific.  All he could remember was the hurt. 

_Ed…_

And Ed. 

He remembered Ed.  Even now.

Roy supposed that he might be dying, that this place where he currently lingered was just one small step away from the end of it all.  He wasn’t ready to go, although few rarely, truly were.  But surprisingly enough, his reluctance had nothing to do with not achieving the goals that he had set for himself, all the things he thought he wanted to do, all the ways he wanted to change the world.  Those things seemed so insignificant now on the grander scale of his dwindling life, a life that held no other importance than that which he had managed to accomplish on a professional level, having sacrificed all things personal.   
  
No, the one thing that gave him pause, that kept him clinging to existence, was the fact that he did not want Ed to live the rest of _his_ life never knowing the truth of Roy’s heart. 

That Roy loved him, too. 

_Ed…_

There were so many things he wanted to say to him.  So many things.

But the invisible line that tethered him to whatever remained of his consciousness suddenly broke loose, plunging him deeper… deeper still…

_I’m… sorry…_

… until even the darkness was gone.

*****

Four hours later, Jean Havoc stepped out of the hospital and lit a cigarette, even though smoking was the last thing he felt like doing.  But he needed to do something with his hands, jittery as they were, lest he punch the nearest thing--or person--in his line of sight.

Roy was alive.  Still.  _Barely_.  And the doctors made it very clear that whether or not he remained that way was up to him; they had done all that they could do during a grueling three hour procedure in which they tried desperately to repair the cranial damage done by Scar’s bastardized alchemy.  It was really only the blindest of luck that he had made it this far.  If Jean hadn’t gone back to Roy’s house…

The blond shivered, horrified by the thought of what could have been.

He had discovered them just down the street from Roy’s, by way of a familiar flash of fire that lit up the night.  Jean’s heart nosedived when the explosions began and by the time he reached them, gun drawn and screaming Roy’s name with no regard whatsoever for protocol, he was in a full-on state of panic.  The sketches that he had seen of the wanted man looked _nothing_ like the charred lump in front of him.  Scar’s burns were such that his clothing had melted to his skin and the surrounding atmosphere was filled with the nauseating smell of burnt flesh.  But yet he was _still_ standing upright in spite of being cooked alive, and he had Roy by the neck in a vicious choke-hold with one hand while the other one gripped the top of Roy's head.  Roy’s eyes were rolled back and his arms were dangling by his sides and after that Jean saw nothing else except red.  He fired off six shots in rapid succession before he even came to a full stop, unaware that he was still screaming as he did so and unconcerned about the fact that he had just become a national hero.

Scar had fallen to the ground, dead before he hit it.  And Roy… Roy was…

Jean crushed his cigarette under his shoe and immediately lit another one.   He tried to ignore the memory of his ex-lover's limp and blood soaked body in his arms.  Roy Mustang was larger than life.  Defeat was unacceptable.  And death?  Unimaginable.  Yet there they were, facing that distinct possibility. 

He had no idea who made the call or when or how.  Their battle had awakened and nearly leveled a sizable chunk of an unsuspecting street so it could have been anyone.  After giving a report that held enough water to detract from the question of why he was even in the area to begin with, Jean had gone to the hospital and waited.  And waited and waited. 

And now, this.

There was nothing more he could do at the moment except wait some more.  He supposed that he should check in on Hawkeye; the woman had not taken the news well at all; earlier, Jean thought that he would have to physically restrain her to keep her from barging in on Roy’s surgery.  So there was that… and the other thing he supposed that he ought to do.

The other person he supposed that he should contact.

The one that Roy was calling out for in the midst of his possible demise. 

Ed. 

Despite being broken and battered and bloody, Roy was calling for Ed.   

The more Jean thought about it--now that he was actually allowing himself to think about something _other_ than losing Roy--the more the pieces of the puzzle slipped neatly into place.  They were never exclusive, he and Roy.  Jean knew that.  But while he never expected to be Roy’s one and only (hoped, but never expected), he also assumed that they would be enjoying one another’s company for some time to come. 

But then came the trip.  And after that, the boot.  The timing was a little too convenient to ignore. 

It was the reason that Jean had returned to Roy’s place unannounced and fueled by liquid courage.  If it really  _was_  over between them, then he thought that he at least deserved to know why.  After the countless risks to both their careers in the interest of sex, all the close calls and near misses,  he felt that Roy owed him that much.

Jean thought it a frightening sort of irony, that Roy’s dismissal of him turned out to be the very thing that saved his life.

He pitched his smoke and ran his hands through his hair.  He then craned his neck towards the sky and stared at it for a very long time.  Although the sun would be up in about an hour, the entire military was already abuzz.  Surely someone somewhere would have the information that he was going to need.

“Ed,” Jean whispered, shaking his head in disbelief.  Talk about taking chances.

If… _when_ Roy woke up and was back to his usual self, he had some serious explaining to do.

Jean walked back inside and approached the nurses’ station. 

“Hello,” he said to the cute young nurse who greeted him.  “I was wondering if I could use your phone, please.”

*****

“Come on, Al.  Move your metal ass.”

“Brother!”

Ed’s lip curved slightly at the sound of Al’s voice.  It was the closest he had come to smiling since…

“I want to get something to eat before we head out,” he said, pushing away that other thought as best he could.  Not that he was even all that hungry--something else that had been negatively impacted by… all of that.  But his body needed sustenance, even if he didn’t care to receive it.  He wanted to be alert and at his best, if only for the sake of his brother. 

Ed slipped on his coat and opened the door, with Al clanging behind him.  As they made their way down the hallway and through the lobby, Ed’s mind turned to the skittish alchemist who held the secret they sought.  He felt that today might be the day when they finally found out—

“Excuse me, Mr. Uh… Fullmetal… sir?”

Ed stopped and turned around… and found the hotel clerk staring at Al. 

It never got old.

“Yes?” he said, drawing her attention towards him.

“Oh.” 

And there was the look of shock.  Ed didn’t even have the heart to be upset about it.

“There’s a call for you,” the woman said, holding out the receiver to the front desk phone.

“A call… for me?”

Ed’s heart began to hammer in his chest.  The only person he could even think of who would be calling him at all, let alone at that hour, was Roy. 

_Settle the fuck down_ , the teen thought.  _It’s not like he’s calling to tell me he misses me._

Ed went to the desk and took the receiver with a hand that was not exactly steady.  He hadn’t heard Roy’s voice since the day he called the older man to tell him that he and Al were leaving; he hoped that he would be able to keep his composure upon hearing it again. 

“… Hello?”

Ed frowned when he heard the voice on the other end of the line.

“ _Havoc?_   Why are you--?”

He stopped talking.

Instead, he listened.

And after that, he dropped the receiver and bolted back to his room.

“Brother?  What is it?”

Al’s worried voice barely registered with Ed as he snatched his suitcase from under his bed and started throwing his belongings inside of it. 

“I have to go back,” he said, his voice laced with terror. 

“What?”  Al took a step closer to the panicked teen.  “What happened?”

“Roy…”  Ed did not notice that he had referred to Roy by his first name.  And even if he had, he wouldn’t have cared.  “Scar… Scar attacked him… I have to go back.”

“Oh, no.  Is he… alright?”

“I don’t know.  He’s in the hospital… b-but… I don’t know.”  Ed was shaking visibly now, on the fast track to losing it completely.

Al took him by the arm and turned him around.  “Wait a second, Brother--”

“Get out of my way, Al!”

Ed pulled away from Al with enough force to knock himself back onto the bed.  For whatever reason, that was the act that broke him.  All of the pain and anguish and heartache of the past few weeks, now coupled with the news that Roy might die, came crashing down on him.

The tears came next, and he didn’t even bother trying to hide them anymore. 

“Brother…”

Al crouched down, helpless to do anything except watch his older brother weep.

“I love him, Al.”

And there it was.  The truth.  Just like that.

Ed looked at Al, his eyes wide and wet and full of misery. 

“I love him _so much_.”

He lowered his head, his hair thankfully concealing the tearful ruin.  He then let out a long and shuddering sigh and realized that he had been wrong all along.

_This_.  This was too much.

Roy could ignore him all he wanted.  Hate him, even.  Ed was willing to live with that, if it came down to it.

As long as Roy _lived_.  Nothing else mattered except for that. 

“Well, it’s _about time_ you admitted it.”

Ed’s head snapped up.  “… What?”

“Did you honestly think that I didn’t know how you felt about him?  Jeez, Brother.  Give me _some_ credit.”

Al reached out to Ed and playfully flicked him on the forehead. 

“We’ve waited this long to find out about the Stone.  We can wait a little while longer.  So come on.  Dry your eyes.”

He rose to his feet and held out his hand.

“And let’s get going.”


	12. Chapter 12

The train was not moving nearly fast enough for Ed’s liking.  But perceived slowness aside, it did give him enough time to tell his story.  
  
He never would have believed that ridding himself of the burden of secrecy would bring with it such an overwhelming feeling of relief.  But sure enough, the weight and strain on his heart and mind steadily decreased with every word as he told his little brother everything, from the moment he first realized that he was in love with Roy to the details of his subsequent bribery.  He even told him about the time they had spent together at the inn, although he did not go into specifics; there were some things that Al did _not_ need to know.  Although there was still the very real issue of Roy’s life to contend with, which brought with it a fear and worry all its own, confiding in the one person he trusted more than anyone else made a tragic situation feel a little more tolerable than Ed had originally thought.  Not by much, but just enough to keep from cracking altogether.  
  
When he finished speaking, he risked a glance at Al and waited nervously for a response, steeling himself for accusations of craziness or selfishness or depravity.  Or all three.  What Al actually said was far more unexpected:  
  
“Wow.”  
  
Ed let out a sound that was part sigh and part laughter.  And all relief.  
  
“Yeah,” he agreed, rubbing at his face with a weary hand.  
  
“Brother…”  While Al’s face was incapable of expression, the concern in his voice was plain as day.  “What the heck were you thinking?  You know he could have just reported you and denied knowing anything about Doctor Marcoh.”  
  
Ed nodded.  “I know.”  His eyes skirted the train car, making certain that they were still well out of earshot of the other passengers.    “But I couldn’t stand feeling the way I felt and not being able to do anything about it.  I needed… _something_.  Even if I couldn’t have him forever, I thought that if I could have just one time, then that would be enough.”  
  
“And was it enough?”  
  
“It’ll have to be.”  Ed swallowed hard as sadness welled within him, cruelly reminding him of its presence.  “And it _will_ be, as long as he’s okay.  That’s all that matters to me right now.”  
  
He closed his eyes and brought his head to rest against the coolness of the window, trying not to let his mind wander towards all the possible worst case scenarios.  As if sensing his thoughts, Al reached forward and placed a bulky yet soothing hand on his brother’s leg.  
  
“He’s going to be fine,” he reassured him.  
  
Ed wished he could be half as optimistic as Al.  “How did you know?” he asked suddenly, lifting his head and looking at the large suit of armor.  “About how I felt.”  
  
“You’re my brother,” Al replied as if the answer was obvious.  “And… well… sometimes you talk in your sleep.”  
  
With widening eyes, Ed recalled the last vivid dream he had about Roy, the one that had ended rather… _wetly._  
  
And Al had been right there when it happened.  
  
“Oh.”  He looked out of the window in hopes of hiding his fast reddening face.  “I… I didn’t know that.  Sorry.”  
  
“Why are you apologizing, silly?  It’s not like you were waking me up.”  
  
Ed turned back to Al, consumed by a crushing wave of love for his little brother that temporarily blotted out all the other hurt.  There they had been, so close to knowing what they needed to know to get their bodies back.  And Al could have just as easily stayed behind to meet with Marcoh while Ed made the trip back alone.  But instead, he put aside his own needs to worry about his brother’s.  Ed felt as if he could never do enough to earn that kind of devotion and he renewed his vow to see Al whole again.  
  
“Thanks, Al,” he said softly.  “For coming with me and… everything.”  
  
“That’s what brothers are for.”  
  
Al extended a large fist, to which Ed responded with one of his own.  Ed then sat back, smiling gratefully.  He was still terrified of what he might find upon his return.  But one thing, the _only_ thing, that made such a grim possibility seem slightly more bearable was knowing that Al would be there for him.  
  
No matter what.  
  
*****  
  
Roy groaned as he pried open his eyes, just barely managing to squint in the harsh light of the room.  He was not dead, that much he knew.  Anything beyond that was presently a blur.  
  
“Welcome back, Chief.”  
  
The voice beside him was raspy from too many cigarettes smoked in a short span of time but filled with the unmistakable sound of relief nevertheless.  Roy turned to look at the man sitting in a chair next to his bed, gritting his teeth against the agony and effort it took to do so.  
  
“Havoc,” he croaked.  “How long was I out?”  
  
“Almost two full days.”  Jean smiled at the bedridden man.  “How are you feeling?”  
  
While lifting his arm seemed too arduous a task, Roy did not need to feel his head to know that it was securely bandaged.  “Like someone reached inside my head and scrambled my brains.”  
  
Jean nodded and shrugged.  “Well, that’s pretty much what happened.”  
  
Roy tried to think, sifting through the murky haze of his mind to piece together the events that brought him to that point.  He vaguely recalled being outside although he had no idea why.  He had been thinking about something… or perhaps someone… and then…  
  
“Scar,” he whispered.  
  
“Yeah,” Jean confirmed.  
  
“Where is he?”  
  
“Dead.”  
  
Roy listened carefully as Jean filled him in, comparing the man’s words to his own fragments of memory.  He gradually remembered fire, so much fire, as a result of his own doing.  He remembered a strong hand clamped around his neck and cutting off his air.  He remembered pain.  
  
And then he remembered why he had even been outside to begin with.  In spite of his current physical discomfort, it was that sudden realization that hurt more than anything.  
  
“Does any of that ring a bell?” Jean asked, noticing his look of concentration.  
  
Roy nodded slowly.   “Some of it.”  
  
“Good,” Jean said.  “The doctors weren’t sure how your memory would be affected since alchemy was involved.”  
  
“Why…” Roy paused for a moment to gather himself because even the mere act of talking felt like a chore.  “Why were you there?  You had already left… right?”  
  
Jean averted his eyes, choosing instead to stare down into his lap rather than meeting the curious gaze of his former lover.  “Well… yeah… but… I went back.”  He all but jumped out of his seat, clearly eager to change the subject.  “Do you want anything?  Some water?  Something to eat?”  
  
“No, thank you.”  Roy felt along the mattress near his thigh until he found the bed’s control and, after waving off Jean’s attempted assistance, managed to elevate the top half of the bed until he was almost fully upright.  He stared at the other man, taking note of his obvious exhaustion.  “Where are the others?” he asked.  
  
“They’ll be back tomorrow,” Jean replied as he sat down again.  “They were here for most of the day, before you woke up.  Hawkeye wanted to stay, of course.”  
  
“Of course,” Roy echoed, not the least bit surprised.  
  
“And… um...”  Jean went back to studying his lap.  “I called Ed.”  
  
Roy gaped at Jean’s downturned head.  There was something in the man’s tone that did not sit right with him at all.  
  
“Havoc?”  
  
“You were saying his name.”  Jean raised his head, his expression revealing what Roy already suspected to be true.  “Over and over.”  
  
Now it was Roy’s turn to look away.  “Listen, Havoc…”  
  
“Are you in love with him?”  
  
Roy did not speak for some time.  Not for lack of an answer, but because he felt as if there was a certain finality in his pending reply.   Once he said it out loud, there would be no way around it.  
  
And no way to take it back.  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“…Well then.”  Jean stood up and reached into his pocket, retrieving his cigarettes.  “I think I’m going to go have a smoke,” he said, offering a faint smile before stepping out of the room.  
  
Roy closed his eyes and leaned back into his pillow.  On top of everything else, he now had the guilt of seeing Havoc, who had silently endured months of Roy’s emotional unavailability, trying to process an admission of love for a fifteen-year-old alchemist.  
  
He almost wished that he could have stayed unconscious a little while longer.  
  
*****  
  
Later on that night and fresh off the train, Ed burst into the hospital lobby and made a beeline for the first person he saw.  
  
“I’m looking for a patient, Colonel Roy Mustang,” he said, grabbing a poor, unsuspecting nurse by the arm.  “Can you please tell me where to find him?”  
  
“Um…”  The young woman glanced worriedly at Ed and Al, who had finally caught up with his brother.  “I-I’m sorry but even if I did know, visiting hours are over for the night.”  
  
There was no way in the world, no way in _hell_ , that Ed was about to wait until morning to see Roy.  He was fully prepared to search the hospital room by room if necessary but was hoping to spare himself the trouble of doing so.  
  
“ _Please_ ,” he tried again.  “This is really important.”  
  
_“Ed.”_  
  
Jean quickly crossed the lobby and freed the nurse from the teen’s death grip.  “You can’t just barge in here and cause a scene like that,” he whispered furiously as the woman scurried to safety.  “Come on.”  
  
He led Ed to a remote corner of the lobby, one that was relatively safe from prying eyes.  
  
“Just tell me, Havoc,” Ed said, looking far too sad and scared for one so young.  “Is he…?”  
  
“He woke up earlier this afternoon.  He’s feeling a little weak and he’ll have a splitting headache for a while, but other than that, he’s fine.”  
  
“Oh, thank goodness,” Al replied.  
  
Ed slumped against the wall.  He was so overcome with relief that he did not notice the peculiar look on Jean’s face.   
  
“I can get you into his room, but only for a few minutes,” the older man offered.  
  
“Go on, Brother,” Al said.  “I’ll wait for you here.”  
  
Ed obediently followed Jean through a maze of hallways until they reached their destination.  Jean paused just outside the door to Roy’s room and turned towards Ed.  
  
“I’ll stay here and make sure no one goes in,” he said.  “You’ve got five minutes.”  
  
And just like that, Ed knew that Jean knew the truth.  He had no idea how and had he not been so completely overjoyed to know that Roy was going to be okay, he would have been mortified.  But there would be plenty of time for that later.  Right now, he just needed to see the man he loved.  
  
Ed stepped quietly into the room and closed the door behind him.  His heart nearly stopped when he saw Roy lying there, his face frighteningly pale and his head wrapped in bandages.  Their eyes met across the room, and whatever control Ed thought he had immediately unraveled.  He thought of Scar’s M.O., and how so many other alchemists had not been so lucky.  The thought of Roy coming so close to the same horrible end…  
  
He crossed the room and stood beside Roy’s bed, and quickly ran the back of a gloved hand over his eyes in an effort to maintain some manner of composure.  All the while, Roy just kept on staring at him, seeing him, seeing _through_ him, until he eventually motioned for Ed to sit down on the edge of the bed.  Ed gasped as fingers intertwined with his and pulled him close.  And it was only when he hid his face in Roy’s neck that he finally allowed the tears to fall freely, and all of the hurt and anguish and heartache of the past few weeks was undone in an instant because of the arms that tightened around him and refused to let him go.


	13. Chapter 13

Ed didn’t want to move. Partly because there was no other place in the world he wanted to be right now than where he was, safe inside the circle of Roy’s arms with his face buried in the older man’s neck, and partly because he knew that he probably looked like a wreck from crying and he didn’t want Roy to see him like that. But he knew that he had no choice unless he could have figured out a way to stop time with alchemy. He only had a couple of minutes left at best before Jean came back and he needed to make the most of them, which did not include snotting all over Roy’s hospital gown.  
  
He pulled himself upright and wiped his face. When he was finished, he looked at Roy, golden eyes tinged with red, taking in the bandages and paleness and once again trying not to think about all the ways that the situation might have taken a turn for the worse had every piece of the puzzle not fallen into place exactly the way they did. He had a number of questions about what happened, like why Roy was wandering around outside during the middle of the night in the first place and why Jean just happened to be in the area to save him. But in the end, he opted to ask the most important question of all:  
  
“Are you okay?”  
  
Roy took Ed’s left hand into his own and held onto it tightly. “I’m okay,” he reassured him. After taking a good, long look at the young man’s weary face, he added, “Are you?”  
  
After everything that led up to that moment, all of his angst and his misery and his broken heart, Ed was _far_ from okay. All of those things, along with the attack on Roy, had left Ed feeling emotionally battered.  
  
But ultimately, none of that mattered. Because Roy was alive.  
  
“I’m just…” Ed let out a shaky sigh and tried again. “I’m just glad you’re still here.”  
  
Roy smiled warmly at him and squeezed his hand. “So am I.”  
  
They sat in silence for a bit with fingers intertwined. Ed had no idea what to make of the open display of affection, especially considering the fact that they were smack dab in the middle of a military hospital. He wasn’t sure whether the gesture was an act of consolation or something more significant, but he decided not to contemplate that, either. At least not yet.  
  
“Ed.”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“Do you remember what you said to me that night?”  
  
Ed barely felt capable of remembering basic things right now, let alone something he said, presumably, during their time away. “Which night?”  
  
“That last night… when you thought I was asleep,” Roy clarified, his voice quiet and knowing.  
  
“When I thought…”  
  
And then it hit him, like a blow to the face. Of course he remembered.  
  
Three words. Whispered in the darkness.  
  
And Roy was awake when he said it.  
  
“Oh.”  
  
With his face heating up in embarrassment, Ed quickly lowered his head. Coercing the man into sex was one thing--and a bad thing, at that--but this? This was just downright humiliating.  
  
“... I didn’t mean for you to hear that.”  
  
“I know,” Roy replied with a nod. “But that doesn’t make it any less true, does it?”  
  
Before Ed could begin to ponder the meaning (and possibility?) behind the question, the sound of a clearing throat interrupted them. He turned and saw Jean standing in the doorway, staring at the two men with an expression that was not particularly overjoyed.  
  
Ed tried to move away from Roy, in the interest of Roy’s public preservation more than his own, but Roy held on tightly to his hand, refusing to let him go. The teen glanced at him with wide and worried eyes and found him calmly staring at the lieutenant, as if lying there and holding a fifteen-year-old’s hand was the most normal thing in the world.  
  
“Sorry to interrupt.” Jean looked at Ed. “Are you ready to go?”  
  
“We need a few more minutes,” Roy said.  
  
“Chief, I don’t think--”  
  
_“Havoc.”_  
  
In spite of the awkwardness of the situation, Ed was impressed. Although Roy’s physical appearance left much to be desired, his voice was still as commanding as ever. It was the voice of a man who refused to have his orders questioned, under any circumstances.  
  
“A few more minutes,” he said again.  
  
“... Yes, Sir,” Jean muttered through clenched teeth.  
  
Ed waited until he heard the soft click of the closing door before speaking. “You told him?”  
  
“No, I didn’t.” Roy ran his free hand over his face. He looked so very tired. “Apparently, before I blacked out I was calling out for you,” he explained. “That’s why he contacted you. When I woke up, he told me what happened and then… he asked me if I was in love with you.”  
  
Their eyes met.  
  
“I said yes.”  
  
Ed’s heart felt as if it plummeted down to the vicinity of his stomach. He was overcome with a dizzying mixture of fear and optimism, and hoped like hell that he had heard correctly.  
  
Roy… was in love… _with him?_  
  
Images started racing through his mind, all of the instances during their forbidden getaway when Roy would look at him or touch him or talk to him in a way that had felt more like the actions of a genuine lover than a man being forced into doing something against his will. Ed had wanted _so badly_ for Roy’s feelings to be true.  
  
And now that he knew they were, he simply couldn’t believe it.  
  
“You’re in love with me.”  
  
“I’m afraid so.”  
  
“... Why?”  
  
“Good question.” Roy grinned at Ed’s stunned expression. “But we can talk about all of this another time. Right now, you need to get out of here before you get us both into trouble.”  
  
Leaving was the absolute last thing that Ed wanted to do, but even so, he knew that Roy was right. After the way he barged into the hospital in a panic and demanded to see Roy, he had already drawn more than enough unwanted attention for himself. They were taking a huge risk right now, just by being in the same room so late at night.  
  
“Okay,” he said, nodding in agreement. “I’ll come back tomorrow during regular visiting hours.”  
  
“No, you won’t.”  
  
“Huh?” Ed frowned in confusion. “Why not?”  
  
“Because you have work to do,” Roy replied. “That Stone isn’t going to find itself.”  
  
“But…”  
  
Ed’s voice trailed off and he gaped at Roy in disbelief. After _all of that_ he wanted to send him away?  
  
“Listen to me, Edward.” Roy’s authoritative tone was back, though it was not nearly as harsh as it had been with Jean. “I’m in love with a fifteen-year-old and I almost died. I’m going to need some time to process both of those things. Besides, we have a lot more to talk about than can possibly be covered in a few guarded hospital visits, don’t you think?”  
  
Without waiting for an answer, he finally let go of Ed’s hand in favor of stroking his cheek instead.  
  
“So go. Do what you need to do and take as long as you need to do it. And we’ll work the rest of it out when you get back. Okay?”  
  
Ed was not anticipating the idea of putting all of those miles between them again, especially now that he knew Roy felt the same way about him. However, he also knew that Roy had a point, and a good one, at that.  
  
He closed his eyes and leaned into Roy’s palm, savoring the warmth of his hand. Then, when he knew that he could no longer prolong the inevitable, he opened his eyes and sighed.  
  
“Okay.”  
  
Roy pulled him forward and kissed him. It was short, soft, and oh so sweet.  
  
“Stay out of trouble,” Roy concluded with a smirk as Ed rose to his feet.  
  
The young alchemist smiled. The weight on his heart felt considerably lighter than before.  
  
“Look who you’re talking to,” he pointed out.  
  
“Exactly.”  
  
Ed lovingly squeezed Roy’s foot as he walked by the bed and exited the room. After a brief and somewhat uncomfortable exchange with Jean, he found Al and left the hospital. Tonight, they would recover from their journey in a spare barrack bunk. Tomorrow morning, they would make that very same journey in reverse, back on the path towards finding out what they needed to know about the Philosopher's Stone and restoring their bodies.  
  
Four months would pass before Ed saw Roy again.  
  
*****  
  
The room was small, but it would do. Better still, it was out of the way, located at an inn far from any potential prying eyes.  
  
From his spot on the bed, Roy glanced at the clock. The hour was late. Ed would be there any second.  
  
He reconsidered his decision not to have a drink before the young man arrived. He wasn’t nervous, not exactly. But he wasn’t feeling entirely calm, either. After waiting all this time for this moment, he didn’t want anything to go wrong.  
  
In the months that passed since they last saw each other, Roy had plenty of time to sort out his feelings as well as what he intended to do about them. He still loved Ed; that hadn’t changed at all.  
  
But as for what he planned on doing about it, that would prove to be a bit more complicated.  
  
There was a knock at the door. Finally. Roy took a deep breath and stood up, then slowly crossed the room and answered it.  
  
And there he was, after four painfully long months, right in front of him. Roy had missed him very much.  
  
Ed greeted him with a nervous half-smile. “Hey.”  
  
“Hello.” Roy wanted to say--and _do_ \--more, but for now, he settled for standing aside and allowing Ed to enter the room. “Welcome back.”  
  
They sat down on opposite ends of the bed, half-turned so that they could face one another. Ed looked the same as always. Four months didn’t appear to have any immediate effect on his appearance whatsoever.  
  
Yet there was one thing that _had_ changed about him since Roy saw him last:  
  
“Happy belated birthday.”  
  
The sixteen-year-old smiled as he pulled off his gloves and shoved them into his coat pockets. “Thanks.”  
  
“Did you find out everything you needed to know?” Roy knew that he would get a full report on Ed’s findings tomorrow when he returned to HQ, but he had to start the conversation somehow.  
  
“Well, we found out that we need to find another way,” Ed said. “According to Marcoh, creating a Stone…” He sighed and shook his head. “It would mean doing things that Al and I refuse to do. That’s why we were gone so long. We were checking out other leads. And every single one of them was a dead end.”  
  
Roy nodded. Although he had never shared his own theories on the matter, he knew well enough from personal experience that something _that_ powerful would not be easily replicated. At least not without catastrophic cost.  
  
“You’ll figure it out,” he promised him.  
  
“Yeah, I know,” Ed agreed. “It’s just so damn frustrating because I really thought we had it this time.”  
  
“Most things worth having take considerable effort.”  
  
Roy reached out and placed a comforting hand on Ed’s left shoulder… and how that led to him sweeping back a lock of blond hair, cupping Ed’s cheek, and then leaning over and kissing him like there was no tomorrow, Roy honestly did not know. Whatever the reason, it was a bad idea. Not because of the kissing itself, but because of the firestorm of desire it unleashed, desire that was barely restrained to begin with since Ed walked into the room.  
  
“I th-thought we were going to talk,” Ed stated, shaking visibly.  
  
“We are.”  
  
Roy swallowed hard and considered moving to the other side of the room to clear his mind. It was the rational and sensible thing to do.  
  
Unfortunately, he didn't get that far.  
  
Four months was a _really_ long time.  
  
They fell onto the bed, kissing and touching and rubbing each other all over, from slow and sweet to fast and needy, all while frantically trying to rid each other of their clothing. Ed was hard as a rock against Roy’s leg and peeling him out of those damn tight pants was a chore and a half, but he was finally rewarded when Ed was fully naked beneath him.  
  
And Roy almost came, just from looking at him.  
  
He reached over the edge of the bed and, after much fumbling and swearing, found the lube that had been hidden away in his pants pocket. There were no condoms this time. Roy was still disease-free and he hadn’t been with anyone else, so he wanted to be able to feel himself inside of Ed without any annoyingly responsible barriers to dull the experience.  
  
Even with the lube, Ed was achingly tight around his fingers. Roy carefully worked in a third and willed his body to wait just a little bit longer. It was not an easy task with the way that Ed was fucking himself on his fingers, his hair and body splayed out on the bed as his hips snapped to meet Roy’s hand. It was one of the goddamn sexiest things that Roy had ever seen.  
  
When Ed was as stretched as he was going to get and Roy could truly wait no longer, the older man rolled Ed over and pulled him up on his knees. He spread Ed wide and pushed into him, groaning as he slid all the way in, right up to his balls.  
  
“Oh, fuck,” Ed whimpered into the pillow that he was dangerously close to shredding.  
  
“I’ll try to be careful,” Roy told him. Not that it was a promise he was sure he could keep.  
  
“I don’t care about that,” Ed insisted. “Just… _please_...”  
  
He pushed back against Roy, making his demand extremely clear.  
  
Who was Roy to deny him?  
  
Grabbing Ed by the hips, Roy started to fuck him. Hard. Fast. Deep. Right into the bed with the sound of moaning and creaking and slapping flesh all around him.  
  
Then he flipped Ed over and pounded into him some more. There would be bruises on his ass tomorrow, in the suspicious shape of handprints. Ed wouldn’t be the only one having a hard time sitting down.  
  
Then he came, his entire body trembling as he clamped down on Ed’s neck to keep from crying out too loudly.  
  
And _then_ he slid down the bed and sucked Ed off while finger-fucking his lube and cum-slicked ass in just the right spot. Unlike Roy, Ed had no qualms about making noise… or about kicking a huge dent in the wall with an automail foot as a result of his orgasmic flailing.  
  
Roy crawled back up the bed and collapsed beside Ed with one arm wrapped around his chest. Neither man could move much beyond that for a while. But it was enough.  
  
Well, no. That wasn’t exactly true:  
  
“Seriously?” Ed grinned when he felt a stirring against his leg. “Isn’t your libido supposed to _decrease_ the older you get?”  
  
All Roy could do was shrug and smirk. “Well, I _am_ Roy Mustang,” he pointed out as he pulled Ed on top of him.  
  
Another hour passed, bringing with it another dent in the wall, a cracked headboard, and an obliterated pillow.  
  
_Now_ it was enough.  
  
*****  
  
After all of that, they finally got around to talking.  
  
“So… you and Havoc, huh?” Ed raised his head and brought his chin to rest on Roy’s chest. “That explains why he hates me.”  
  
“He never hated you. He was just in a really bad place back then,” Roy informed him. “I broke it off with him, he killed Scar, and I almost died. All in one night. I’m actually surprised that he kept it together as well as he did.” He rearranged the newly transmuted pillow under his head so that he could get a better look at the young man clinging to him. “Besides, these days, he’s too busy with the ladies to worry about what we’re doing. I guess being a national hero has its rewards.”  
  
With that settled, Ed fell quiet. He traced an automail digit along Roy’s nipple, watching it harden from the stimulation. There was nothing sexual in the gesture. He was simply passing the time until he gathered the courage to say what he needed to say next.  
  
Sometime later, when he was ready, he spoke up.  
  
“Roy?”  
  
“Hm?”  
  
“...Marcoh told me what happened to Winry’s parents.”  
  
He purposely kept his eyes averted for the next part.  
  
“He told me what the military made you do to them… and what you almost did to yourself because of it.”  
  
Ed tensed and waited for the fallout… which never came.  
  
“I figured he might,” Roy said softly.  
  
The chest beneath Ed rose and fell in a heavy sigh.  
  
“Do you… think differently of me now?”  
  
Only then was Ed able to meet his gaze. “No,” he replied firmly, shaking his head for emphasis.  
  
He thought _plenty_ differently about the military he served, however. Even when he was younger, Ed was never naive enough to believe that the organization was free from corruption. But to rob his dearest friend of her parents and the man he loved of his _will to live?_ Unforgivable.  
  
Ed had no idea if he was going to tell Winry. Or Al. While he hated the thought of keeping such a huge revelation from them, what he hated even more was the thought of hurting them. Then there was Roy. He told Ed that he had made his peace with the war. Ed had no desire whatsoever to disrupt that.  
  
It was a question that was going to need answering one day. But not today.  
  
“Are you sure you know what you’re getting into with me?” Roy asked, as if sensing his inner dilemma. “You deserve so much more than I can ever give you.”  
  
After they destroyed and subsequently repaired the pillow and the headboard and the wall, they had discussed at great length all the pros and cons of a clandestine relationship, which was the only kind of relationship that Roy would ever be able to have with Ed if he was going to become Führer one day. Neither of them had the slightest clue if the arrangement stood any chance of surviving once things settled down and they resumed working towards their respective goals, goals that were likely to keep them apart for weeks or months at a time, as evidenced by Ed’s recent endeavor.  
  
The only thing they knew for sure was that their feelings for one another would not allow them not to try. Whatever the outcome.  
  
“You’re the only one who knows the truth about what Al and I tried to do,” Ed stated. “And you’re the only one who knows about Al.” He pressed his cheek against Roy’s chest and felt the strong heartbeat beneath it. “We’ve already got secrets between us, Roy. What’s one more? Besides, as a wise, old, _old_ man once said...”  
  
Ed cleared his throat before doing his best Bastard Colonel impression.  
  
“Most things worth having take considerable effort.”  
  
“I do _not_ sound like that,” Roy grumbled, tugging on the lock of blond hair that refused to bow down to any man.  
  
“Yeah, you kinda do.”  
  
When the laughter died down, Ed tightened his arms around Roy, lamenting the moment he would have to let him go. He glanced up at his lover (partner… boyfriend!) as Roy swept the loose hair from his brow with a look of adoration.  
  
“You know, you should try saying it to my face sometime,” he said.  
  
“Saying what?” Ed asked.  
  
Roy waited.  
  
Eventually, Ed understood.  
  
Six months ago, he was beside himself trying to decide whether or not to bribe his commanding officer for sex, because that was all he ever thought he could get from the other man.  
  
Now, he was lying in Roy’s arms and being asked to say _I love you_.  
  
… So he did.  
  
And when Roy said it back, Ed did not believe that he was ever going to stop smiling. Or blushing. Or calling Roy an asshole for accusing him of cuteness.  
  
For one who had lost so much over the years, happiness was a very strange feeling.  
  
However, Ed was pretty sure that he would find a way to get used to it.  
  
THE END


	14. Bonus 520 One-shot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The lovers meet for a secret rendezvous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Roy/Ed Day (5/20) and the Roy/Ed Festa at Celebrate FMA on LiveJournal. Takes place nearly two years after the last chapter.

Roy was starting to wonder if he should find another place for his secret reunions with Ed. Although they were few and far between, much to the displeasure of both his heart and body, he was beginning to worry that the staff recognized Ed, whose stature and automail made traveling incognito next to impossible. Those golden eyes were not so easily forgotten either, even if one only saw them every few months. But the room would do for tonight, as it had done since they embarked on their hidden affair. There would be more than enough time to worry about locales later, after Ed took his leave once again and Roy was left behind to miss him.

He paced around the small room while he waited, too sober and eager for his own comfort, and more than a bit horny. Two months, one week, and four days was hardly the longest he had ever gone without seeing Ed, but it was still long enough. Guarded conversations over the phone just didn’t cut it, not when the sound of Ed’s voice made his heart ache and his cock swell. Roy grinned when he remembered a call from a few weeks ago, one in which Ed had been bemoaning his lack of luck on an official mission (while unofficially continuing his quest to find or create a Philosopher’s Stone that did not involve genocide).

“It’s hard, Colonel,” the teen had said in curious tone that hinted work was the last thing on his mind. “It’s _really_ hard.”

“I imagine it is, Fullmetal,” Roy had replied, managing somehow to keep his voice even and never more grateful that he was sitting down lest Havoc and the others get an eyeful of the effect Ed’s words had on him. “But I’m sure you’ll find a way to take care of the situation.”

Roy sure had, by way of jerking off twice later that night.

His heart skipped a beat when he heard the doorknob turn, but he held his ground, determined not to pounce—no matter how much he wanted to. Ed stepped into the room, then closed and locked the door, and Roy smiled, his happiness at seeing him temporarily overshadowing his desire to have sex with him.

“Welcome back,” he said, taking a step towards him. “How was Lior?”

“Hot as hell.” Ed shrugged off his trademark red coat and slung it over his automail arm. “How are things this way?”

Another step, closing the gap. “Quiet for now. But as you know, that can change in an instant.”

As a matter of fact, Roy suspected that it would. Something was happening in the military, something that ran far deeper than standard corruption. He hadn’t quite placed all the pieces in order yet, but when he did, he had a feeling that all hell was going to break loose. Yet he remained quiet about those things; should the need arrive for Ed to be briefed on a professional level, then Roy would act accordingly. Until then, he would keep mum and send him on relatively simple and easily achievable missions that would allow him ample time to find a means of obtaining what he and his brother had lost. It was the least he could do as a commanding officer and, more importantly, a lover.

They regarded each other across the space between them. Roy noted that Ed was still, well, _short_ , and would likely always be, a fact he never planned to let him forget. But in the nearly two years that had passed since a blushing alchemist stood before him and demanded his body for fear of never having his heart, Ed had grown in so many other ways. There was a maturity about him now, one fashioned from a series of experiences over time as well as, Roy liked to believe, the development of their relationship. Although the seventeen-year-old was still perfectly capable of screaming and swearing and flailing at a perceived slight, just as common anymore were the times when he would react calmly and rationally… though Roy had to admit that he continued to find the old Ed as frustratingly endearing as always. That was the Ed he had fallen in love with, the Ed he had called for on the brink of death. _His_ Ed.

“Are you just going to stand there and stare at me?” the young man asked as he leaned back against the door. “It’s been ten seconds. I was kind of hoping you’d be all over me by now.”

“I was _trying_ to be a gentleman,” Roy replied with a smirk.

“I guess there’s a first time for everything,” Ed shot back with humor in his eyes.

Roy gave up the fight. He approached Ed slowly, savoring each step that led to sweeping him into his arms and pulling him close, hugging him tightly. For as much as he wanted Ed naked, and soon planned to have him that way, he always treasured this first contact more than anything else, the initial moment when he could finally touch him again after having gone so long without.

“I’ve missed you,” he murmured into a crown of blond hair.

Ed returned Roy’s embrace with equal fervor. With his face buried safely in Roy’s chest, he smiled and uttered a muffled but heartfelt, “Missed you too.”

Roy pulled back and cupped Ed’s cheeks, his eyes locked on his lover’s and his thumbs tracing along smooth skin. He leaned down and kissed him gently, taking his time, wanting to make it last, but when flesh and metal fingers laced around his neck and an impatient tongue slid between his lips, all pretenses of patience vanished. They fell back against the door in a tangle of tongues, limbs, and a fallen coat. Clothes were hastily unbuttoned and unzipped, and Ed broke the kiss just long enough to curse the clunky boots that required more than a few seconds of attention to remove.

They stepped out of the pool of shed clothing and stumbled over to the bed, still kissing, still feeling, still groping each other. Ed pushed Roy down on the bed, earning a raised brow of amusement in response.

“That’s how it’s going to be?” Roy asked.

“That’s how it’s going to be,” Ed confirmed.

Roy stretched out on his back, legs parted slightly. “Then by all means, proceed.”

Ed climbed onto the bed and blanketed the older man’s body. They kissed for a time, the teen grinding against him and making his abdomen slick with pre-cum. Gradually, Ed worked his way downward, licking a slow, wet trail along Roy’s chest and stomach. Roy inhaled sharply as lips wrapped around him, and he weaved his fingers through Ed’s hair while pushing up into the heat of his mouth. Ed’s skills had improved greatly since that first tentative time he had gone down on Roy, and it wasn’t long before Roy was forcing him to stop for fear of coming entirely too soon.

He reached for the small container of lube that he had placed on the nightstand shortly after arriving. After handing it over, he spread his legs even wider and waited. This was another area in which Ed had honed his expertise over the years, and he was soon one, two, three digits deep inside Roy, stretching him open.

Roy stopped fucking himself on Ed’s fingers long enough to ask, “How do you want me?”

“Get on your knees,” Ed demanded huskily.

He withdrew his fingers and Roy flipped over. Grabbing onto a pillow, Roy scooted down as far as he could go without lying flat on his stomach, as was necessary given the differences in their height. Despite the thorough preparation, he winced as Ed entered him with all the gentleness he could muster; the alchemist himself might have been short but his cock most certainly _wasn’t._

“Fuck,” Ed whispered, his fingers digging into Roy’s hips.

Roy couldn’t have agreed more. He rocked back against Ed, signaling that he was ready. Ed started fucking him with long, hard thrusts, each one forceful enough to make the bed shake. Roy planted his face in the pillow and focused on the way Ed felt burrowing into him over and over in a sweet and brutal invasion. For as much as he enjoyed being inside of Ed, he also loved it when the teen returned the favor, and returned it _well._

“Already close,” Ed warned shakily.

It was hardly surprising, given the amount of time that had passed since they were last together. Roy hooked his legs over Ed’s and squeezed. Taking the hint, Ed held on for dear life and picked up the pace, ramming into him until he screamed. Roy snaked a hand beneath him and seized his cock, and then, with Ed still spurting inside of him, fucked his fist until he cried out in the pillow and ruined the sheets.

Ed pulled out of him and flopped onto his back. His eyes were hazed over and his chest was heaving. Roy rolled over with a groan and watched him, feeling decidedly sticky and sore. And happy. Happy most of all.

Gradually, Ed mustered enough energy for a breathless, “Damn.”

“That sounds about right.” Roy scooted closer and gave him a quick kiss on his lips. He rested his cheek against the coolness of an automail shoulder and placed his hand on Ed’s chest, feeling the steady thump of his heartbeat. “I’ve missed _that_ , too.”

Ed chuckled and covered Roy’s hand with his own. “I have a feeling that Colonel Mustang is going to have a hard time sitting on his ass all day tomorrow.”

Smirking, Roy replied, “I’m sure he’ll manage.”

“Hey, Roy.”

“Hm?”

Ed craned his neck until they were face to face. His expression had grown serious. “You know, you don’t always have to be in such a hurry to send me somewhere.”

The statement took Roy by surprise. “You think I like sending you away? I _hate_ it. But it doesn’t matter how I feel about it. You and your brother—”

“Al will have his body back one day,” Ed said with fierce determination. “Even if it takes me the rest of my life, I won’t stop trying until that happens. All I’m saying is that… if you want me here…”

Roy shook his head. It was tempting to give in to his selfish desire to keep Ed all for himself. The last thing Roy wanted was to walk out that door, knowing they would both have to play their respective roles before Ed left yet again for an undetermined but far too long amount of time. But this was the choice they made, the one damning condition of their relationship, the price they both had to pay. Between this and nothing, the answer would always, emphatically, be this.

“I love you, Ed. No amount of distance is going to change what you mean to me. Wherever you go, I’ll still be here.”

Ed turned ten shades of red and looked away. “God, you’re so cheesy sometimes… Love you, too.”

They spent the next ten minutes catching up. Roy listened intently while twirling a lock of blond hair as Ed told him all about the gaggle of stray cats that Al had somehow managed to hide in their shared room. Ed laughed while Roy regaled him with tales of his crew, including Breda’s inordinate fear of Black Hayate and Havoc’s failed attempt at wooing Armstrong’s younger sister, Catherine.

By the time the conversation dwindled, they were both hard again and ready to make up even more for all of their lost time. This time Roy took the lead, and he made love to Ed with a desperate and intense vigor, doing his damnedest to memorize every single touch, every single look, every single sound. Colonel Mustang wasn’t the only one who was going to have a hard go of sitting tomorrow.

Later— _much_ later—they held each other in a possessive embrace as their time together drew to its inevitable end. Eventually, they got up and showered and changed (and Roy left a humongous tip on the nightstand for the poor soul who had to clean up after them). The lovers kissed one last time before walking out the door as commander and subordinate, their paths diverging once more towards their separate goals while their hearts held firm to the love that united them.


End file.
